So they’re about to do this collective suicide thing when – bless her undead soul – Pam steps in, saying, “Meet the true death all for Bo Peep? I don’t think so,” and she runs and grabs the missile launcher and launches a missile right at the shop.
There’s this big explosion and the earth moves, and everybody in the shop shrieks. Mantonia and Sookie head back inside, and Mantonia’s all, “Told ya so! They have no interest in negotiating with us.”
Meanwhile, outside, the most serious casualty is Jason, who is left with a horrible case of burnt pizza face as a result of the explosion.
Even though he and Jessica were the bickering McBickersons for the first half of the episode on account of his Hoyt-guilt, she happily gives him her blood to heal him. And we all know what that means … hot sex dream sequence to come, ka-ching!
Meanwhile, Eric is super pissed at Pam for endangering Sookie. She backpeddles and says she knew the protection spell would keep her safe, but Eric’s not in the mood for buying this and sends her packing.
Back inside the shop, Jesus is making brujo preparations with the dagger he got from Casey’s gut. He tells Lafayette that he’s about to enact really heavy, really dark mojo and Lafayette might see and hear things that are very upsetting.
Lafayette gulps and says, “Like your freaky demon-face?” And Jesus says, “Yeah, like that,” and Lafayette is all, “Can the demon face at least come with a hot demon bod, preferably in boxer briefs. Because I think then I could overlook the face.”
Meanwhile, back in the main room, Marnie passes the time by playing “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,” only in this case, it’s “Puddle of Casey-Blood, On the Floor.” She stares at the puddle on the floor and asks to see the present, and is blessed in return with the same view any security camera outside the shop would also have shown her, without the need for a intestinal fluid as a surface.
Then she asks to see the future and is given a sight of her own dead body.
Well, this does not make her happy! So she forces everyone to gather around and impresses upon them just how much the vampires want them dead. Their only hope, she insists, is to join hands and trust in Mantonia. And they actually go along with it … even Sookie!
So they’re joining hands and muttering, and outside we see the effect it has on the vampires, which is basically to make them re-enact the dance from the “Thriller” video. Controlled by Antonia, they move against their will toward the sunlight forcefield surrounding the shop. Jason tries to put a stop to it, and sends Sookie a mental message about what’s happening and tells her she’s got to figure out a way to stop it.
So Sookie (finally!) enacts her wonder twin glowing powers, (and has any character ever had such a sporadically instrumental super power at their disposal as this one? It’s like playing Monopoly with somebody who keeps forgetting they have a stockpile of “Get Out of Jail Free” cards, yet they manage to pull one out of their ass every time they’re about to go bankrupt). She shoots out glowy goodness and the spell on the vampires is broken.
Marnie is not happy about this, not at all. She enacts another spell that gets all the hostage witches paralyzed against a wall, and finds Sookie surrounded, Johnny-Cash-style, in a ring of fire. The vampires outside can sense her fear, but can’t get past the barrier to help her. This sequence is drawn out for a while, with Sookie crying in the flames, and the guys outside all anxious.
Then, wouldn’t you know it? Jesus’ demon-head finally kicks in. He rushes in and uses his super brujo powers to get Marnie to puke up Antonia once and for all. Antonia is thrilled to finally be free of that psycho, and flitters off to find a saner body to inhabit, like maybe a nice Kardashian or that Snooki person that seems to get so much press.
Once Antonia’s gone, the protection spell and circle of fire also fizzle out, and the vampires come rushing in. They’re charging toward Marnie, but this one witch guy Roy tries to stop them.
Roy, like Casey, has been in several episodes, and I haven’t said much about him because he’s been so consistently irritating. But now it’s clear they made him that way on purpose so we’d be happy to see him get the red shirt treatment. All you need to know is the guy quotes Eagles songs and gives high fives without any sense of irony.
So Roy says that if they want to get to Marnie they’ve got to go through him first, and Eric’s all, “’kay” and pulls a Russell Edgington special on him and rips his heart out. Awesome! And EWWWWW! Then he sucks on a ventricle, like a Scotsman on the bagpipes, and tosses the heart aside.
That’s when Bill whips out a gun and, with a snarky, “No one lives forever … not even you,” shoots Marnie, leaving her with a bullet in the head, just like her magic puddle-vision had foretold.
WTF RATING: 3
A fairly satisfying end to the witch storyline we’ve seen all season, right? And to my surprise, Jesus made it out just fine, and all the loose ends were nicely and neatly tied together. All except …