“True Blood” Episode 409 Recap: Let’s Get Out of Here


Meanwhile, remember how Alcide came home and Debbie smelled the
stink of Sookie on him? Well guess what, she sure does! She goes out and gets
herself all hopped on V again! Then she shows up at Sookie’s house, all drugged
out and crazy eyed and jealous. Wouldn’t it be great if she’s there to pull a Fatal Attraction on Sookie and boil a
bunny on her stove, and the bunny turns out to be Sam? I should write this

Anyway, she knocks on Sookie’s
door, and I’m all, “Ooooh, this is going to be so good! She’s going to go all
psycho on her ass!” Sookie answers the door and sees Debbie there, and Debbie
reaches behind her and pulls out …. A bouquet of flowers. Nice fake out, but
she’s still clearly gunning for crazy.

Sookie invites her in and they
have an iced tea, and Debbie says she truly means Sookie no harm. Crazily, she
swears she’s not crazy, which only makes her sound more crazy. But she explains
that she loves Alcide and out of love for him wants to do what she can to help
Sookie, since he obviously cares about what happens to her.

Sookie tells her to shut up so
she can read her thoughts and – to her surprise and mine – finds out that
Debbie is telling the truth.

She accepts Debbie’s help, and
the two of them team up. Now look, nobody was looking forward to a crazy Debbie
taking on Sookie more than me. But I actually liked this little twist here. It
was unexpected, and there’s something highly satisfying seeing the two of them
together like some demented Thelma and

Anyway, Sookie gets Debbie to go to the Moon Goddess Emporium and
distract Mantonia while she tries to sneak in the back.

Mantonia answers the door and
tries to get rid of Debbie, but Debbie gives her the wolfy glowy eyes. She says
that she’s there representing the Shreveport Pack and that they want to offer
their support of the witches. Mantonia isn’t buying this and when she questions
her, Debbie panics and yells out, “Look! It’s Sookie Stackhouse! Lover of
vampires! Right behind you.”

And Sookie is in fact behind
her, having snuck through a window, found Eric, and now trying to lead him out.
She’s also quickly got the sense that he’s under Mantonia’s power, and he tells
her that they want him to kill the king.

But suddenly a gun is pointed
at her. The person aiming it is none other than Tara, who says to Sookie, “Just
how stupid can you be?” words that I’m sure bring many of you to cheers.

But Tara’s
being smart, because she then says, “Did you listen to me?” cluing Sookie in to
read her thoughts. In her minds, she reveals that Mantonia’s holding them
hostage and tells Sookie to jump her.

Sookie goes ahead and does it,
and Tara fires the gun wildly in an obvious
attempt to deliberately miss her as Sookie makes her escape.

After Sookie’s gone, Tara is all, “Gee, I tried to shoot, but what are you
gonna do? My aim is for crap.” Mantonia eyes her suspiciously and then commands
Eric to follow her, as she heads off to wreak havoc at the Festival of

After she’s gone, Tara runs to
the door to try to escape, but Mantonia has cast some spell that heats up the
door and burns the flesh from Tara’s hand. So
some genius witch figures, hey why don’t I just go ahead and grab the back
door, that one’s probably fine, right? Hissssssss!

Finally, it’s the big night, and we’re at the much discussed Festival
of Tolerance
, and it would be difficult to imagine a more glamorous or
exciting evening. They’ve got balloons and everything.

I have to wonder here why Nan’s
gone to all this trouble to host this big PR event and had it in of all places
some back hole of Louisiana. And also, you can’t expect to have an event like
this and get any attention without any of those bleeding heart celebrities.
Where’s Bono? Where’s Sally Struthers? Where’s the B list musicians joining hands and singing
“We Are the Vampires”?

All they’ve got is some squeaky
clean Undead Alliance
Club President and her squeaky clean vampire sister! Then Nan
speaks, and while she presents various facts about alleged vampire violence, we
see Eric outside.

Eric approaches Bill’s
sheriffs, then takes off. They take off after him and chase him around the
theater in this really cool effect that has them zipping around at high speed.
They get him “cornered” but it’s all a clever ruse! Mantonia is right behind
them and immediately overpowers them as her newest Muppets.

Meanwhile, back inside, Bill is now speaking, and he’s departing
from the script in a way that makes Nan none
too happy. She’s even less happy when Sookie comes running into the room,
calling out a warning to him.

But she’s too late. Because
Eric and the sheriffs, under Mantonia’s control, have a little surprise floor
show planned. Up in the balcony, they lift up Bill’s goon security squad, and
gut them in front of the live audience. I must say that’s certainly not very

The crowd sees the vampire
inflicted violence – and all hell breaks loose.

Sookie screams to Bill, “They’re
coming for you. Run!!!” as Eric leaps from the balcony toward him.

WTF Rating: 4. Gulp. If Eric kills Bill, how are the heck are we
going to get that threeway?

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