“True Blood” Episode 406 Recap: “I Wish I Was the Moon”

 
 

WELCOME TO BON TEMPS. PREPARE TO DIE.

Tara is lounging around Lafayette’s house doing
what she always does – sulking – when there’s a knock at the door and a voice
calling, “I’m looking for Tara Thornton.” It’s Naomi, here in Bon Temps at last! Yay!

It’s
not really explained how she knew to go looking at Lafayette’s. I’m guessing it’s something
boring and practical, like the address was on Tara’s
mail that Naomi had found. But I’m hoping for something more sexy and
interesting, like Naomi is also a shifter and found Tara
by following her smell. (BTW, if you want to know what Tara
smells like – she smells like sass, self-pity, and scotch.)

Tara opens
the door and tells Naomi it’s a long story. Naomi responds that she’d better
start telling it. So Tara launches into the
biggest self-pity party since People magazine’s last interview with Jennifer Aniston. Blah blah blah poor
me, my life sucked, this town sucked, so I fled and reinvented myself but
please love me.

Naomi
listens then gets up to leave, saying she hopes she provided a nice vacation
for Toni from Tara. Tara
says she knows Naomi didn’t come all that way just to tell her to f–k herself.
Naomi admits that’s true, saying she’d also like to kick her ass, as she pushes
her to the ground and straddles her in a position that’s not exactly conducive
to ass-kicking.

Then
she leans down and kisses her. Tara kisses back, and they start really getting
into it, but of course we don’t get to see Naomi do to Tara
what Eric was so enthusiastically doing to Sookie at the beginning of the episode.
You want to see that sort of thing, you have to watch Game of Thrones.

Later on, the two of them have this
adorable little date at Merlotte’s. Outside the bar, Naomi says
she think she’ll like Tara even better than
Toni and is looking forward to getting to know her. They kiss again. And are
interrupted by none other than Pam. My friends, I present The L Word: Bon Temps Edition.

Presumably
Eric had convinced Bill to release Pam, who appears far more dangerous than
Eric had let on. Tara begs Naomi to run, but
Naomi stays put. Pam snarks, “Girls, no need to squabble. There’s plenty
of me to go around.” Then she bares her fangs and rushes toward them.

WTF Rating: 4. Please
don’t tell me they finally got Naomi and Tara together only to kill Naomi off!
On the other hand, if there’s a way for this to somehow lead to Naomi and/or
Tara drinking from Pam – and getting in on some of those same-sex post-sucking
sex-dreams we’ve seen with the men – them I’m all for it. We haven’t seen Pam
have sex in ages and she’s due.

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