“True Blood” Episode 403 Recap: “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?”


Lafayette Gets Offensive

Eric’s bullyish intrusion on their coven meeting, Marnie and the witches sit
around shell-shocked. Lafayette
is particularly freaked out, telling everyone that Eric is one very old, seriously
bad-ass vampire who they should be afraid of, very afraid.

Marnie, who has no recollection of what happened or what she did to fend Eric
off, states that he had no right! Meaning no right to interrupt their meeting, and
no right to try to deny their freedom to practice their religion.

seems to me that this is emerging, in classic Alan Ball fashion, as a timely political
subtext this season – how a particular group’s claims to certain rights might
run in contrast to another groups’ perception of their own rights. Does it lead
to compromise, conflict, or outright war?

Later that night, Tara, Lafayette and Jesus sit
around outside their house, eating and drinking and enjoying each other’s
company – and the fact they haven’t been fanged to death. Lafayette is all in favor of going on the
offensive and running back to Eric to beg for his mercy.

this episode, as with last week, Tara finds
about 12 different ways of saying that she’s only just arrived back in town and
look at all the freaky s–t that’s happened to her, but she manages to make it
LOL funny each time.

Lafayette tells her she should just get herself back to the loving arms of her
hot girlfriend, she insists (with a friendly “’f’ you”) there’s no
way she’d ever leave Lafayette on his own to deal with Eric. Lafayette excuses
himself to get some shut-eye before his shift at work, with a friendly
“y’all bitches clean” – a line I’m totally going to try out the next
time I host my family’s Passover Seder and see how that goes.

As soon
as he’s gone, Tara asks Jesus to make sure Lafayette doesn’t go anywhere near Fangtasia.
Jesus assures her that not only can he do that, he can do it in such a way that
Lafayette will
think it was all his own idea. As someone in a longterm relationship, let me
state emphatically that this sort of mind control over your partner is
absolutely impossible. And Mark honey, if you’re reading this, just (take) know (me) that (to) I (Key) love (West) you (right now).

it hardly matters, because Lafayette
barks from the other room, “I heard that!”

The next day, Tara goes to Merlotte’s to
try to get Sookie to talk to Eric and call him off Lafayette’s ass. But she
quickly senses that Sookie is more concerned with Eric’s well being than the
fact he bit an innocent local business owner and attacked Tara.
Sookie assures Tara that nobody has anything
to fear right now from Eric, but then plays coy about why she feels so strongly
that he’s no longer a threat, and outright lies about knowing where he is.

A little while later, Jesus finds Tara (following
her heart-to-heart with Sam) to tell her that Lafayette’s taken off, most likely to go to
Fangtasia to confront Eric. They take off after him.

alone in her shop, Marnie sits before a goblet with a knife.
Slashing her arm to present a blood sacrifice, she implores the entity that
possessed her body to show herself, claiming she’s been waiting all her life
for a purpose such as this to become clear.

nothing happens, Marnie gives up in frustration. But unseen to her, there is a
reflection of a dark-haired younger woman staring back, with cold empty eyes.

Meanwhile, in the basement of Fangtasia, Pam
is beating on Lafayette
pretty thoroughly. But then Jesus and Tara come down the stairs, with the
blonde bombshell Fangtasia bartender (who I think Pam has been known to have
the occasional fling with) in tow. Oh, also? They’ve got a gun filled with wooden bullets.

gets Pam’s attention. What really gets her attention, though, is when Jesus
explains that they’re part of the circle that cast the spell on Eric, and they
can possibly figure out a way to un-do it.

when Blondie the Bartender hears
that Jesus is a “brujo,” she runs off shrieking in terror, like I
would if I ever met anyone who admitted to voting for Michele Bachmann.

tells them that they’ve got 24 hours to bring the witch ringleader directly to
her. And if they don’t, she says she’ll personally “eat, f–k, and
kill” them. Which sounds like Pam’s version of “Shag, Marry, or Bury,” except clearly she’d just cheat and opt for all three.

WTF Rating: 2. I’m
glad to see Tara, Jesus and Lafayette getting drawn into some of the bigger
storylines. But is there any doubt they’re going to be royally f–ked – if not
eaten and killed – when they try to go up against whatever’s controlling

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