“Torchwood: Miracle Day”: We’re Off to See the Bloodline, the Wonderful Bloodline of Jack

 
 

THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

Rhys: As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted by that man who carted off your father to the concentration camp, Buenos Aires and Shanghai are on opposite sides of the world! It’s a fact according to the scientific calculations I did on this toy globe! 

Esther: You’re right! They’re antipodes! I can’t believe we couldn’t solve this thing just by looking at the PhiCorp logo! 

Gwen: Jack and I can go to Shangahi. 

Esther: And I’ll meet Rex in Buenos Aires. 

Oswald Danes: And I’ll come along too, because it’d be weird if I didn’t play a part in the resolution of this conflict seeing as I’ve already eaten up so much screen time. 

 

BUENOS AIRES AIRPORT

Rex: The only way I could get this mysterious package through customs was through official diplomatic channels, which means: a) I’m not off the grid at all, and b) the mole I’m convinced we have in our department will track me down in about ten seconds. 

Esther: I’m starting to think you’re not so good at your job. 

TIME TO MEET THE WIZARD

Jilly Kitzinger: I’ve flown halfway around the world to click-clack these heels down an ominous alley in the middle of the night before feasting my eyes on the cause of the collapse of the whole entire world. I don’t know if I’m the queen of Gryffindor or the queen of Slytherin, but goddamit, I’m the queen of something.

Mrs. Miracle Maker: Funny you should mention Hogwarts, the Miracle kind of works like the Mirror of Erised AND The Philosopher’s Stone. You see the deepest, most desperate desire of your heart, and you better hope your heart is awesome because you’re going to have to live with it for all eternity.

Jilly Kitzinger: Torchwood’s Big Bad reveals are never what you think they’re going to be, are they? The music’s good, though. And my acting is superb, per usual.  

Mrs. Miracle Maker: What does the Miracle show you? 

Jilly Kitzinger: I already told you: That I’m the queen of the world. And that those ladies on Mad Men cannot compare to me, lipstick-wise.


SHANGHAI HOSTEL OF REGRETS AND RECRIMINATIONS 

Gwen: Let’s change out your band-aids — look, I’ve got Dora the Explorer; you love Dora the Explorer — and then we’ll discuss the best way to track down the Miracle. 

Oswald Danes: Maybe we could follow Jack’s blood drops. Being a pedophile, I’m no expert on crime solving, but it’s weird what Jack’s blood is doing, right? Rolling purposefully into the city like that?

Gwen: It’s the Miracle, Jack! It’s calling for your blood! Good thing Esther took several gallons of it with her! Hang on, what’s this? Rex checked into FourSquare at the Buenos Aires airport? If somebody has to die this time around, he really is the one who deserves it. 

Captain Jack: You know that’s not the way it works. Torchwood life is the opposite of fair. The good guys die first. 

Oswald Danes: Holy crap, I really am going to live forever! 

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