SOMETHING IN SHANGHAI
Jilly Kitzinger: There are over a billion people in China, probably two billion now that everyone has stopped dying, yet everywhere I go I am the only person in China.
An Ablemarch, I presume: Hey, what’s up? You’re just in from America, right? How’s my Jesse Eisenberg impression? I’ve got the hoodie, the gadgets, the haughtiness. You have part of my attention! You have the minimum amount! Good, right?
Jilly Kitzinger: I flew 20 straight hours for this?
An Ablemarch: Well, this and I’m interested in staring at your rack. Hey, can you write history and not die in the face of Miracles like that other guy in Shanghai who threw himself off a roof a couple of episodes ago?
Jilly Kitzinger: I can literally do anything.
An Ablemarch: OK, cool. See ya never then.
CONJUNCTION JUNCTION, WHAT’S YOUR FUNCTION
Esther: This video of Kitzinger’s is a kid who blew up a blood bank in Shanghai. He says it was a blessing he didn’t die.
Rex: Ooh, what if he meant THE Blessing saved his life?
Esther: Could be. Hey, you know what else is weird? A blood bank blew up in Buenos Aires at the same time, right before the Miracle. Probably there was only one blood bank in each city on account of their enormous populations.
Rhys: You know what else is weird about Buenos Aires and Shanghai, according to this inflatable globe?
Detective G. Reaper: Too bad you’ll never find out! Because I’m here with my DeathTracker iPhone app! Time to light some human beings on fire! Oh, hey, you’ve got company.
Gwen: One of them is not a notorious child molester. Also there are no rogue CIA Agents or alien fighters from the future in the kitchen. Or Category Ones in the cellar. And I think that covers all the people who aren’t here.
Detective G. Reaper: It’s a very convincing story, except for the fact that, unlike you, DeathTracker NEVER LIES. If there is an old person in this house who I can burn to ashes, DeathTracker will find him. And — oh, look! It found him! To the oven, grandpa!
Captain Jack: I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?
Gwen: Yes. Get me my swimming costume. I’m dog paddling to Shanghai.
Rex: Can I go off the grid? If you say no, I’m still going off the grid.
Agent Shapiro: You mean like stop updating Facebook and Twitter? Yeah, I guess that’s fine.
Rex: No. I mean, I’m going T-Rex ops. Torchwood Rex, get it? T-Rex?