“Torchwood: Miracle Day”: We’re Off to See the Bloodline, the Wonderful Bloodline of Jack

 
 

KITZINGER HQ

Jilly Kitzinger: Just so you know, working with a pedophile was actually better than this whole “Families” gig.

Rolf Costerdane: How would you like to take a one-way trip to Shanghai to work directly with The Blessing?

Jilly Kitzinger: Meh, why not. Like I said, I’m pretty bored. 

 

(DON’T FEAR) THE REAPER

Detective G. Reaper: Open up, this is the police! We’re here to burn your father alive! That’s the kind of world we’re living in now! The CIA has cut its gas allowance in half and I’m going door-to-door collecting the elderly for incineration! 

Gwen Cooper: I would like to rip your intestines from your body with my bare hands and then use them to hang you from a lamp post as a warning to other assholes, but my Batwoman costume is in the wash, so come on inside. Mind the hall closet. That’s where we keep our machine guns and flame throwers.

Detective G. Reaper: [Conducts as thorough an investigation as he can without his iPhone, then goes home to watch Star Wars and root for Darth Vader.]

CIA HQ

Charlotte Wills: The one and only lead we’ve had for two months is at a dead end. 

Rex: I see no reason to double check the information you are giving me. 

 

(DO FEAR) THE CHILD MOLESTER 

Oswald Danes: Don’t mind me, just dropping off your groceries and picking up your child. 

Gwen: Right. I’ve always wanted a reason to beat you to death with an iron skillet. 

Rhys: Gwen, stop! I want a chance to beat him to death with an iron skillet. 

Oswald Danes: When you’re done beating me to death with an iron skillet, maybe you can get me some face time with Jack Harkness. Bring him to me and I’ll tell you the name of the guy who started the Miracle. 

Gwen: The last time someone told us that, Jack got shot. But OK. 

 

LANGLEY, VA

Rex: I am certain we have a mole, which I guess makes it even more ridiculous that I didn’t double check our one and only lead, but that’s OK because now I have 46 new leads. 

Agent Shapiro: How’d you swing that?

Rex: I ran the pulp fiction novel through the CSI Machine.

Agent Shapiro: Cool. Did you hear we’re probably getting a dictator?

Rex: Thank you for continuing to ambiguously remind me of the dire political effects of this Miracle, sir. 

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