“Torchwood Miracle Day” Recap: The Earth’s Vagina Giveth, and the Earth’s Vagina Taketh Away

 
 

INFINITY AND BEYOND 

Dr. Vera Juarez: Esther, hello! It’s so good to see you again! 

Esther: Dr. Juarez? What is this … is that a pteranodon? 

Dr. Vera Juarez: That’s the first thing I said, too!

Ianto Jones: Pleasure to finally meet you, Esther. Here, I saved you a piece of cake. 

Owen Harper: Winner! Winner! Winner! Winner!

Toshiko Sato: Ignore him. I’m Tosh. Welcome to Torchwood Beyond. Come on, we’ll Tom Sawyer your funeral

ESTHER’S FUNERAL 

Charlotte Wills: I am so hungry. What time is it?

 

RESURRECTION PARK 

Jilly Kitzinger: Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite Nazi Youth. You left me for dead, you know. In that stupid vagina hut.

Rolf: Meh, the Miracle was just a test anyway. How would you like to be a part of the next mini-series? 

Jilly Kitzinger: Actually, I’m headed to Broadway. But thanks anyway. 

 

RESURRECTION CHAPEL 

Gwen: Jack, want to hang around earth for a while for some old-fashioned alien huntung?

Rhys: No pressure, mate. Feel free to go back to Mars or wherever.

Rex: Hey, you guys, check out this new iPhone app. It tells you the last thing your boss was doing on his laptop before he got blown up. Looks like Shapiro found the mole. Looks like it was … Charlotte Wills! CHARLOTTE WILLS, YOU COME BACK HERE! 

Charlotte Wills: Nothing says closure like a shootout in a church. 

Captain Jack: Dammit! We lost another one! 

 

INFINITY AND BEYOND 

Ianto Jones: Ha!

Toshiko Sato: High five! 

Ianto Jones: We want our money back, Harper! Rex is —

 

RESURRECTION CHAPEL 

Rex: Dead. I can’t believe I’m dead. Again. This sucks so — wait, dead people can’t talk. I’m … alive. My body … is healing itself. 

Jack: What? 

Gwen: What! 

INFINITY AND BEYOND 

Ianto Jones: WHAT?!?!

 

RESURRECTION CHAPEL 

Rex: Huh. How about that. Looks like Torchwood’s got another immortal team member, and that team member is me! 

INFINITY AND BEYOND 

Ianto Jones: OH, COME ON!

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