Rex: You are so the opposite of worthless! You saved my life! Now go back to Sleazy’s body and retrieve the handcuff keys from his coat.
Esther: That doesn’t seem like the smartest idea I’ve ever heard.
Rex: Trust me.
Mr. Sleazasky: [Is allllliiiiiive.]
Beetle Bailey: [Finishes him, and literally says] This has got to stop!
POOKIE BEAR EXPRESS
Rhys: Mind if I nick this lorry?
Rhys: I’m sorry, I know it’s a bit rude, but I’ve really got to steal this thing, mate. I’ll fill it up with petrol as soon as I’m finished saving my wife’s dad, all right? I’ll get it back to you first thing in the morning.
Gwen: You know nothing turns me on like a hero, but you’ve got to get my dad out of here and I’ve got to do the baddest ass thing you’ve ever seen. So let’s only makeout for a few minutes and then you can get going.
Rhys: This is fun. Too bad prolonged good-bye kisses never bode well for supporting characters.
Torchwood contacts: [Activate]
Gwen: Anyone home?
Captain Jack: I am! I’m just enjoying a quiet evening in with my Pteranodon feety pajamas, a nice cup of tea, and Google.
Gwen: Good, ‘cause I don’t want you to miss this epic badassery. I’ve changed from scrubs to full-on black leather for the occasion. Ready?
Captain Jack: Always.
Gwen’s motorcycle stunt double: [Shows off]
Gwen: Do you know what’s better than a heroic monologue? A heroic monologue in a Welsh accent. Also: Blowing sh-t up.
Rex: I know I’ve been a real tool belt these last few … years, but I really, truly am grateful that you saved my life. You were a real hero back there, Drummond. Torchwood — hell, the whole of humanity — is lucky to have you own our side.
Esther: I’m still feeling a little grossed out about killing a person with my bare hands.
Rex: Well, maybe it’s some comfort that the real army is here to shut this thing down.
Esther: We didn’t stop it at all! The White House is standing behind mass murdering!
Captain Jack: Yeah, I’ve been alive for centuries and governments have always been crap. We’ve just got to find out what The Blessing is so we can bring this thing down from the top.
Rex: Esther, I made a homemade snack! Look!
Esther: First hugs and now cookies? You’re really starting to weird me out.
Gwen: Rhys, call me back! I need to make sure you and Anwyn are OK!
The Silence: They’re not. Let’s take a turn in the loo with those Torchwood contacts, shall we?
Gwen: What do you want?
The Silence: We just wanted to let you know we’ve kidnapped your entire family, and the only way you’ll ever see them again is if you hand over Jack to us.
Gwen: You must have missed the part of this episode where I blew up an entire military compound with the sheer power of my rage. I’ll bring Jack to you, you bastards. Jack and FISTFUL OF JUSTICE.