“Torchwood” in 10 Minutes “Miracle Day”: The Launching of a Slash Ship

 
 

Captain Jack and Brad the Bartender: [Do, indeed, have a lot of The Sex.]

Brad the Bartender: You’re calling the shots. 

Captain Jack: Yes. Yes, I am.

Rex: Hey, I’m also having—

AfterElton.com Readers: STFU, REX! 

PRIMETIME BROADCAST VS. PREMIUM CABLE

BBC: Or, er, we’re going to have to cut this scene down a little bit.

British Gays: [Grab their pitchforks.]

BBC: Hang on! It’s not because they’re gay! It’s because we’re broadcast TV! We’d cut down a straight scene like this too! If this was American broadcast TV, you’d never even see two gay men cuddling in a bedroom!

CBS: What’s a … gay?

SAPPHIC SHIPPERS UNITE

Esther: I’d really like to go home. Or to jail. I’m not cut out for this hero stuff. And I need to take care of my sister. 

Gwen: You could go home and let Rex win. Or you could hold my hand, take my proffered arm, walk with me back to headquarters and help me save the world. 

Esther: Your accent is really something. I mean, the things you do to vowels. 

Gwen: I knooooooow.

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM COMIC-CON


(Tumblr Source)

Heather Hogan: [Is shiiiiiippping it. Soooooo hard.]


NO, SERIOUSLY

SEEDY MOTEL OF SHADY CHARACTERS 

Oswald Danes: Going for a walk in the middle of the night seems like a good idea. It’s not like I have a notorious face and a child raping record that would make a person want to hurt me. 

Two persons: Wrong!

Oswald Danes: Officers of the law! Please save me! Take me back to my dodgy hotel!

Officers of the Law: We will do that — after we pull over in an abandoned alley and beat the crap out of you.

 

AFTERGLOW

Dr. Juarez: Weird how walking to the mailbox makes your heart bleed, but a shagathon doesn’t hurt you one bit. Also, I am going to cry now. 

Rex: It’s OK, I know women are weak. 

Dr. Juarez: No, it’s not that. My mom died recently and I’ve been beating myself up for not being able to keep her alive until the Miracle. 

Rex: Will you help my spy on PhiCorp? 

Dr. Juarez: No.

Rex: You owe it to your mother, because of how you murdered her. 

Dr. Juarez: Did you seriously just say that? 

Rex: Yes. I continue to be the worst. 

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