“Torchwood” in 10 Minutes “Miracle Day”: The Launching of a Slash Ship

 
 

FOX NEWS SCHOOL OF PROBLEM SOLVING

Captain Jack: We need to do some intense research on PhiCorp to determine what their connection is to the Miracle

Rex: [Literally says] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We do all this research and then what are we going to do? 

Captain Jack: Er, then we use the research to determine our next step? That’s kind of the point of research? You systematically gather information, establish facts, develop theories, employ critical thinking and save the world. I’ve been doing it for a couple hundred years. 

Rex: Facts are a waste of time. I have gotten my hands on a small piece of information and now I want to jump to the end part where I get to fire my gun. 

Captain Jack: OK, you do that. Call me when your plan fails on an epic scale and I’ll come pick you up. 

Rex’s plan: [Fails on an epic scale]

Captain Jack: [Comes and picks him up]

Rex: We’re three episodes into this thing and so far I’ve been correct zero times and you’ve been correct every time, so I’ll bet you think I’m going to apologize to you. Wrong. I’m going to punch you in the heart. Watch: “Torchwood is dead. Like all of your friends.” 

Captain Jack: [Winces]

Rex: [Bounces]

AS PROMISED

Captain Jack: Yeah, I’m gonna go get laid. 

Gay bar: [Is gayyyyyyy]

Bartender: Nice coat. 

Captain Jack: Best pick-up line I’ve heard on any planet ever. Let’s get out of here. We will be having a lot of The Sex now.

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