“Top Chef” Recaps: Episode 4.9 “Wedding Wars”


Zzzzzzzz … — It’s
5:30 a.m. and the chefs are dragging. Everyone deals with the sleep deprivation
differently. Some guzzle energy drinks. Motor-mouth Andrew stops talking. And
Antonia has apparently held this facial expression for the last seven hours.

I feel their pain. I’m only about halfway through the recap
for this super-sized episode (an extra 15 minutes, are they trying to kill me?),
and I’ve already downed two Red Bulls and a bag of Doritos. Hey, I never said I
was a gourmet.

No rest for the
wicked —
Night becomes day, and a rested and unusually chipper Tom strolls
into the kitchen to inspect the troops. They groggily tell him what they’re
making. He tells them not to dumb down their food.

He leaves them with three hours left to cook, but not before
taking a parting shot at Lisa’s blocky groom’s cake.

Tom: She said the
groom wanted his cake to be very simple. Well, I hope he said "ugly"
because that’s kind of what we have. It almost looks like a battleship of some

The 14 hours tick down to seconds, and then the
all-day-into-night-back-into-day nightmare is over. OK, it’s not exactly over.
They still have two hours to finish once they get to the site, and then they must
stay awake through the all-night service.

Damn, Top Chef,
that’s just cruel.

Nice day for a white
wedding —
The wedding party is assembled. In the prep kitchen, the chefs
put the finishing touches on their offerings. Padma enters with the day’s
judges. Tom, Gail Simmons and guest judge Gale Gand, the owner/pastry chef of
Chicago’s Tru restaurant.

Um, Padma, don’t you know it’s bad form to outshine the
bride on her special day? Though, I guess she could wear a potato sack and
still be hotter than 99.9 percent of the human population.

With the rings exchanged and bride kissed, it’s time to eat.
Service starts with the appetizers. Team Bride’s hors d’oeuvres get lots of
yummy noises. Team Groom is having some bread issues. The crostini for the
bruschetta is thick, dry and teeth-breakingly crunchy. And who made the
crostini? Dale.

Come and get it —
The dinner buffet service starts, and each team member has his/her role. On
Team Bride, Richard is serving meats, Antonia sides. Stephanie is running to and
from the kitchen, and Andrew is in the kitchen cooking.

Antonia: Andrew
is not allowed to talk to the guests. Seriously.

Even on zero sleep, Antonia has her priorities right.

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