“Top Chef” Recaps: Episode 4.9 “Wedding Wars”


Clean-up, aisle 7 —
They pair off to buy food at Restaurant Depot and Whole Foods. The former is a
huge warehouse where your groceries go on a flatbed, not a cart. Meanwhile, at
the latter, Richard and Andrew have been tasked with buying flowers.

Richard: I watch
a little Martha Stewart. I wear pink shoes.

And all along we thought Ryan was the
. But then Richard picks the sunflowers. The women kibosh
them immediately.

Stephanie: Boys
just don’t know how to pick out flowers.

They also don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses. Thank
God for lesbians.

The real Iron Chefs —
Day becomes night, and at 9 p.m. the cheftestants arrive at the prison
kitchen to begin 14 hours of uninterrupted cooking.

Team Groom’s menu:

  • Appetizers — flatbreads and bruschetta
  • Buffet — tortellini, mixed vegetables and cheeses, filet
    mignon, Chilean sea bass and orecchiette with ragu
  • Dessert — chocolate hazelnut cake

Nikki is making the pasta, Spike is grilling veggies, Dale
is handling the proteins, and Lisa is working cake duty.

Team Bride’s menu:

  • Appetizers — pizza, pulled-pork sandwich and short rib–blue
    cheese phyllo wrap
  • Buffet — crispy chicken, brisket, filet mignon, creamed
    spinach and potato gratin
  • Dessert — chocolate and cream cheese lemon filled layer cake

Antonia is handling the appetizers, Stephanie the cake, Andrew
the chicken and sides, and Richard the rest of the meats.

Take me to your
leader —
Team Groom is having some leadership issues. They all quiz Nikki
on how she cooks everything. And she would rather they leave her and her ridiculously
big box of cling wrap alone. Product placement, cha-ching.

Nikki: Like I am
down with not making all the decisions.

Dale sees this crisis of leadership and decides to do
everything himself.

Dale: I feel like
I’m picking up all the slack. All the bulls— that people didn’t want to do.

Not that he’s bitter about it or anything.

All for one and one
for all —
At 2 a.m., nerves are starting to fray. Andrew doesn’t want to
hear Richard’s ideas. He just wants to cook.

Lisa just wants to watch Dale cook. She worries that he is
doing a "half-ass job" and thinks his filets are burnt.

Lisa: If you do
125 things in 14 hours and only 25 of them are actually good, what’s the point
of doing the rest?

Teammate Spike looks at the situation and decides to find
the "I" in team. He pulls a dish for himself that he can cook and have
as an ace in his pocket. He picks the sea bass. Along the way I think he might
have also picked up one of Lisa’s bandannas.

Team Groom should be renamed Everyone-for-Him/Herself Groom,
as the quartet dissolves as the night progresses. Nikki decides the best way
not to get blamed is to not take responsibility.

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