“Top Chef” Recaps: Episode 4.9 “Wedding Wars”

Going to the chapel —
As the Quickfire winners, Team Fork gets to choose which side they’d rather
cook for: bride or groom? They pick Cory because it’s "the bride’s day."
It’s a bold move if you believe all the stereotypes and that awful show Bridezillas.

Spike: I’m like,
what are you guys completely moronic or you’ve got, like, balls to the wall? …
She is going to want this moment to be exactly the way she envisioned it since
she was 14 years old. The food, the décor, the f—ing wedding cake.

Um, should a guy who wears this into the kitchen be calling
anyone moronic?

The teams will get to consult with their respective parties,
then have 45 minutes to plan, an hour to shop (with a $5,000 budget) and all
night to cook.

Andrew: I have a
culinary boner right now knowing I am going to be working all night. … I am an
animal and I will work 14 hours nonstop without any problems.

Must get mental image out of my head. Must.

The groups meet with their sides. The groom wants Italian
food. The bride wants meat and potatoes. Nikki, who is Italian, bonds with the
groom over their similar palates. Meanwhile, Atlanta boy Richard bonds with the
bride, whose family is also from Georgia.

Let them eat cake —
And then there are the wedding cakes. The groom likes German chocolate and
hazelnut. The bride likes, well, let her explain it.

Cory: Cake is my
favorite thing in the whole world. I love cake.

So, again, no pressure.

Stephanie: A
wedding cake is no joke. People spend like two days making wedding cakes and
spend like $5,000 on them because they’re a big old pain in the ass.

Hey, maybe you guys could bring in that Ace of Cakes
guys. Just give him a blond faux-hawk wig and pass him off as Richard.

There’s no "I"
in team —
The teams huddle again, this time to plan out their menus. Team
Fork/Bride seems to be clicking with its menu of hearty fare. And then Andrew
asks, "What about a chicken nugget?"

From their reactions, Andrew may need some culinary Viagra
to make it through this challenge.

Team Spoon/Groom decides to defer to Nikki since she and J.P.
share the same tastes and, well, she’s Italian.

Lisa: I’m
basically like I am your bitch, tell me what to do and let’s make this awesome.

Hmm, should they discuss a culinary safe word, too?

But the planning isn’t going so smoothly. Nikki says she
never wants to be on Dale’s team because he is the first one to start pointing
fingers. Dale proceeds to point fingers, saying that no one likes each other on
the team and his colleagues aren’t strong cooks. They’ve got spirit, yes they
do, they’ve got spirit, how about you?

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