Dale’s perplexing dish is next. Spike looks at the big old block of seared tofu
and is perplexed by their decision. But the judges are the opposite of
perplexed. The tofu elicits "mmm" noises and is deemed "delicious."
I’m not as
think as you drunk I am — Next
comes Antonia and Lisa’s "magenta, drunk, Polish sausage." Spike, who
seems to have trash to talk about everyone’s dishes, says it went out cold and "looked
explaining their dish and glossing over the big, glaring
there-is-nothing-Polish-on-this-plate issue, the ladies share a tequila shot.
But they didn’t bring any for the judges. Ladies, ladies: Liquor up the judges whenever
possible. A drunk judge is a happy judge.
getting a nice buzz from the dish, the diners are — to steal a line from the
previous dish — perplexed by the fish and chorizo.
and Mark bring out their "purple, depressed, bacon." Already, they
are at an advantage because their dish has bacon in it. So what’s the depressed
Mark: The bacon is very depressed; it has to share
the plate with brussels sprouts.
Well, if this
whole cooking thing doesn’t work out for Mark, he can always go into comedy.
Antonia and Jennifer discuss who will make the bottom two. They all agree it
won’t be them. Oh, way to jinx it, ladies. But maybe Jennifer realized their
faux pas as she cleans up her knives.
Jennifer: I’m packing my knives — this is like a bad
up — Padma comes in and calls
Dale, Richard, Spike and Andrew to Judges’ Table first. Forget an airsickness
bag, I think Antonia is going to need a bucket for this one.
They are the
judges favorites. Tom calls Spike and Andrew’s soup "the best-seasoned
dish we’ve had all season." Ted says making soup when "love" was
one of their words was great, because it’s such a comforting, loving food.
Spike: That’s just in me all the time, so.
Dammit, now I
need a bucket, too.
Richard get praised for their unusual concept and also for coming together as a
team. But what won out — being in love or being perplexed? Love is perplexing,
so Richard and Dale’s dish took it.
As the winners,
they each get $2,500 of Calphalon kitchenwear. Quick, someone check eBay for
two guys selling an obscene amount of pots and pans.
The sound of
one hand clapping — The
victors get the spoils and then get to spoil the day of the losing teams. They
call in Antonia, Lisa, Stephanie and Jennifer. Yes, that’s right, all of the
female chefs except the least-talented of the bunch — cough, cough, Nikki,
cough, cough — have made the bottom three. Irony is indeed a bitter pill to