“Top Chef” Recaps: Episode 4.6 “Tailgating”

 
 

Kiwi Mark is perplexed that so many people have gone for
shrimp, since it’s taking his gig: "How can I throw a shrimp on the barbie
when they’re already doing it? That’s f—ing up, isn’t it?" And then he
laughs.

OK, good. For a second I thought we were having a Crocodile
Dundee
moment. He goes with chicken skewers and chowder.

Also having issues with the challenge is Ryan, who is
emphatically not a sports fan and instead a calls himself a metrosexual.

Ryan: I spend my money on good clothes. I like to go
out and dance. I think I’ve been to two football games.

His approach instead is California tailgate. Hey, I live in
California — we eat wings and ribs too, Mr. Metrosexual. Though that’s a nice
little snuggle moment with Mark that displays your comfort with gratuitous
displays of male affection.

Put me in, coach, I’m ready to play — The chefs get
two hours of prep work that night. They all vow to bring their A-games.
Jennifer says she grew up surrounded by football, and her father was a huge
fan. She decides to cooks a Greek dish in honor of her Greek girl, Zoi. Say it
with me, aww.

Ryan is making a multi-course meal: marinated chicken thighs
on bread salad and a poached-pear dessert with crème fraîche, washed down with chili-spiked
cocoa. The other chefs can’t help but notice his ambitious game plan.

Richard: Ryan’s got a five-course meal with dessert,
pastry, mignardise, a mint for your pillow, a glass of wine.

Well someone certainly brought their snarkiness A-game. I’d
rule that an interception.

Lisa gets out a little aggression on her poor, unsuspecting
skirt steak. She beats the crap out of her meat with a rolling pin. Ha ha, she said "beat her meat"! OK, sorry, I just turned into a 13-year-old boy for a minute.

Head judge Tom Colicchio comes in and makes his rounds. He
asks Jennifer how immunity feels. Answer: great. He asks Antonia what she’s
cooking. Answer: a jerk chicken sandwich. Why?

Antonia: I’m picturing big fat men that like to drink
a lot of beer.

Well, thanks. I’ve just lost my appetite.

Ryan tells Tom he picked his epic meal plan because it’s
simple, clean and light. But afterward he worries that so many dishes might not
be that simple to pull off. Ya think?

As they all finish up, the refrigerators are so packed they
have to duct tape them shut to keep things from falling out. As an added bonus,
according to the United States government, that should keep the food safe from possible
terrorist biological weapons attacks
, too.

Rubber ducky, you’re the one — Back at the casa,
everyone is ready to finally unwind. Wine flows. Bubble baths are drawn. Dale
says that because it’s an individual and not a team challenge, everyone is more
relaxed.

We then cut to Spike and Mark being too relaxed. Way, way
too relaxed. They’re drinking bubbly in the bubbles as they share a nice,
romantic bath together. Antonia says she’s only seen similar sights "in
West Hollywood" and calls the scene a "cheap porno." Clearly,
she also brought her snarkiness A-game.

Spike is not deterred.

Spike: I am totally confident with my sexuality, and
if I want to get in a bubble bath with Mark, the coolest guy in this house, I’m
getting in a f—ing bubble bath with Mark.

No comment.

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