“Top Chef All-Stars” Recap (8.05): Should have left your knives at home, ’cause this is a disastuh


Jamie and Antonia are working together on the Chinese long beans dish. But Jamie is more concerned about her scallop dumplings, which aren’t turning out as she had hoped. Tiffani noticed the beans going untouched and when Antonia asks her to discuss the dish, Jamie says, “I have no time.” Danger, Chefbian Rogers, danger!

Casey has made the ballsy (read: stupid) move of making a chicken feet dish. But first she has to prep them and that means taking off their toenails. She does this at what seems like a glacial pace. You’re not manicuring them, girl, hot foot it – so to speak.

Service starts and 250 hungry Chinatown diners with high standards for and low patience wait for the food to arrive. And they wait, and they wait. The judges Tom, Padma, Gail Simmons and guest judge Susur Lee wait, too. They should have renamed it to the Waiting Challenge.

Mike, who is expediting the service, and Tiffany, who is running it to the dumbwaiter, are both panicked about the lack of food coming out of the kitchen. There are no carts with food in the dining area. All the chefs are futzing around with their intricate presentations. The diners are bored and starving. I don’t mean to be crass, but, guys, this is a total sh-t show.

Jamie and Antonia are working together on the long beans. Antonia tells Jamie they’re under seasoned. She throws them back into the pan, but then later Jamie says she thought they were delicious as is “and I think she has PMS.” And with that, Jamie’s status as All-Stars villain is cemented.

As food trickles out, the diners start to get pushy. They grab plates from carts. They swarm the servers. Carla pleads helplessly: “Please don’t fight.” What food they do get, is disdainfully dismissed as “Caucasian dim sum.” To quote the queens Gaga and Beyoncé, “This is a disastuh!”

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