“Top Chef All-Stars” Recap (8.05): Should have left your knives at home, ’cause this is a disastuh


Time runs out and the judges survey the damage. Angelo has given them a crudo, when Tom explicitly told them not to make a raw dish. Jamie has only been able to give them one clam (too many jokes). And Dale failed in his attempt to make egg noodle pad thai. On the other hand, Mike, Blais and Marcel all get praised for the flavors they were able to bring out in just such a short time. But who won the brand new car? Mike. Good, maybe he can drive off into the sunset in it – immediately.

But the chefs speed demon skills aren’t over being put to the test. The Elimination Challenge is to take over a popular Chinatown dim sum restaurant and serve to hundred of diners during the lunch rush. All the chefs look a little sick at the prospect of making dim sum, except for Little Mad Dale who has experience making dim sum and works at the contemporary Asian restaurant Buddakan.

The chefs go back to the house to menu plan together. Jamie tells everyone she wants to do a scallop dish because she hasn’t done one yet this season. She adds, “No, seriously, I know you’re going to laugh at me, but I’d like to for this one.” They laugh accordingly and Fabio asks the camera later if she learned anything from her Season 5 experience, otherwise known as “Top Scallop.”

Everyone argues about who will work front of the house (they’ve learned the lesson of Restaurant Wars well – though Carla and Casey end up taking one for the team) and then who will do two dishes (Angelo, Dale and, to everyone’s surprise, Jamie). Blais says them all working together in the Chinese kitchen has disaster written all over it. Oh, honey, you don’t even know.

Later the girls are sitting around the kitchen table playing cards and talking about support. Tiffani jokes that she’ll give her bra if someone needs extra support. Mike, who apparently doesn’t have much experience with women’s breasts or what bras look like, says she doesn’t wear a bra. Tiffani quips: “I’m a 36DD. If I don’t wear bras you would have gotten hurt in the Quickfire today.”

This hilarity leads to Antonia saying she got squirted with jalapeno in her eye and then Tiffani removing her bra to “support” her as she washes it out. The boys scattering like cockroaches at the sight of the ladies undergarment. Tiffani says they “out boyed the boys” and then scoffs “they can talk about fiddling with their diddlies, but can’t talk about bras and boobs, like, whatever – please.” Gotta give Tiffani props for going from Season 1 villain to All-Stars crackup.

But the next day is no laughing matter. First at the Chinese market they have difficulty finding their ingredients because everyone who works there only speaks Chinese. But that’s nothing compared to the difficulty they find in the kitchen. First, it’s filled with traditional Chinese woks and steamers and such. Second, Jesus, do the chefs have no idea what they are doing.

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