“Top Chef All-Stars” Recap (8.02): When dinosaurs attack

Team T-Rex tried to catch some shut eye while the boys of Team Bronto take a flashlight tour of the museum. They then regress to the age of the kids they are cooking for and joke that one of the cavemen looks like Fabio and one of the cavewomen looks like Casey in the morning. Who is going to stick Carla’s hand in a bowl of water and Antonia’s bra in the fridge?

Back at the cot camp, Stephen and Tre aren’t too happy about the sleeping arrangement. Stephen just doesn’t want to be forced to room with the rabble saying it creates a “sense of uncomfortability, if you will.” Nice going, Sarah Palin. Tre, on the other hand, is bummed he can’t sleep au naturel like he usually does. He still ends up sleeping shirtless which, even for me, is kind of distracting. Do you think he works out?

The next morning they get cooking. But Team T-Rex finds out that being a carnivore isn’t the same as an omnivore. They have meat, eggs and dairy, but only meat, eggs and dairy. No flour, no herbs, no fruit or vegetable. Meanwhile Team Bronto is all “sunshine, puppies and rainbows” with their fresh selections.

The team members break into groups of two to make a dish each (with Team Bronto having one team of three – damn odd numbers). As they start working, Jamie slices her thumb while prepping the pork belly. The medic tells her she will need stitches, so she tells her cooking partner Jen she has to go and goes. Jen seems fine with it and tells her to “just take care of yourself.”

But, apparently, injuring oneself and then actually agreeing to receive medical treatment makes you an enormous kitchen wuss among chefs. Casey and Fabio scoff, with Fabio bringing back up his whole, “sear it on the flattop” routine from when he injured his pinky during his season.

Cooking is done and the chefs have an hour to set up their buffets. Marcel, Angelo and Blais are making a parfait, and Angelo decides the plums need to be smaller. This annoys Marcel who thinks it damages “the integrity of the plums.” Well, only if you tell them to lie about it, afterward. Angelo tries to explain his reasoning, but Marcel says afterward “you don’t f–k with somebody else’s mise en place.” Wow, in terms of badass throwdowns that falls somewhere between “Why, you’re nothing but a great big coward” and “He can call me flower if he wants to.” Worst butch T-shirt slogan ever.

Jamie returns in time for service prep. She tells them she got two stitches and now it’s Tre and Big Gay Dale’s turn to scoff. Nothing short of losing an eye or possibly both limbs (it’s just a flesh wound!) would have kept them from going on.

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