1. “Excuse me, can you spare a moment for the environment?”
2. “I could never leave New York, but Chicago is SUCH a great to-o-own!”
3. “You talk about Taylor Swift too much.”
4. “That sushi you’re buying is the best, but it’s like, way too much for one person. I don’t know why they don’t sell smaller portions.”
5. “For all intense and purposes….”
6. “Blah blah blah that girl is so unoriginal for ordering a pumpkin spice latte, blah blah leggings blah blah Instagram leaves hashtag fall blah blah aren’t I funny for joking about something everyone on the planet is joking about so I know it’s safe to weigh in blah.”
7. “Calm down.”
8. “I’ve been dying to go to Mexico since like, 2003, so I set up a GoFundMe account to help pay for my trip. Can I count on your help?”
9. “What’s the big deal? I was only 15 minutes late.”
10. “My favorite TV show of all time? Gotta be Lost!”
11. Anything involving a unicorn vomiting something colorful.
12. “You’d be even prettier if you smiled.”
We’re all different—and some of us are really, really irritable. Happy bisexual day.
