“The Real World: San Diego” recap: “Stolen Show, Stolen Hearts, Stolen Motorcycles” (Ep. 8)

Her boyfriend’s back and she’s gonna be in trouble. Dylan, who, as Frank observes, resembles an extra in the extended Weasley clan in Harry Potter, swoops back in on his magic broom yet another time into Priscilla’s life. Of course, in real life, everyone is a Muggle, so Dylan’s “broom” is actually his prized green motorcycle, which the roommates decide to steal. Recruiting a mischievous neighbor, Nate, Zach and Frank haul the vehicle into the neighbor’s driveway and wait to watch Dylan’s little ginger head explode.

Dylan and Priscilla come back from a processing session, and as expected, Dylan’s little ginger head explodes. Dylan chases a cop down the street and immediately files a police report. Nate, Zach and Frank are concerned that they could be arrested for grand theft auto but decide to forge ahead in their prank anyway. They send Dylan to the neighbor who is part of the conspiracy, and the neighbor tells Dylan he sold the bike. Eventually, everyone reveals that Dylan has been punk’d. Unfortunately, Ashton Kutcher is nowhere to be seen.

Alexandra performs in public for the first time, and she has a eureka moment. Singing is what she was meant to do. Meanwhile, Priscilla has a lot of feelings. These feelings are about Dylan. She doesn’t know what these feelings are except that they are there and that they are directed towards Dylan. Alexandra decides to step in and help Priscilla write a song about her feelings for Dylan. Alexandra can sing, create an AIDS charity, do math, live in a house of nut jobs and not shoot herself — and she is a therapist, too! What else can she do?

Apparently, she can single handedly win a challenge against four roommates who have teamed up against her. The House of Blues tell the roommates to compete for a prize of $500. Whoever gets the most people to wear a House of Blues T-shirt and get the logo scanned by a smart phone wins. Frank, Nate, Zach and Ashley decide to team up and split the winnings. Even though the fearless foursome figure out that multiple scans from a single phone registers in the database, Alexandra manages to win fair and square. She decides to use some of the winnings to send to her impoverished family in Zimbabwe.

Before leaving for the challenge, Franks calls Michael and yells at him for being neglectful. Frank and Michael will be featured prominently in the next episode, and it looks like Frank will cheat on him. Run, Michael, run!

Meanwhile, Nate flirts with his boss Michelle, and from the preview of the next episode Nate will hook up with Michelle — and another woman. Run, Michelle, run! Wait, no. Michelle is Nate’s boss and can make his work environment a living hell. Run, Nate, run!

Finally, Priscilla sends Dylan packing to Hogwarts. She is just not ready for a relationship. Her little wizard leaves a gift behind in the house, though — blue underwear which, judging from the revolted looks of the roommates, has seen better days. The roommates toss it in the trash, and after the distress from manpanty-gate subsides, life returns to normal in the Real World house.

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