“The Real World: Ex-Plosion” recap (29.10): Burned to Ashes

This episode of The Real World: Ex-Plosion starts out at SFO, where Thom is picking up his twin brother Steve. Within two minutes, they throw around the word “bro” enough times to kill anyone playing a drinking game where you have to take a shot every time you hear the word “bro,” so don’t do it.

Hailey and Steve are friends, so Hailey is comfortable telling Steve about how she shoriyukened Thom the previous night. Steve laughs, because the thought of Hailey pummeling his twin brother is funny to him. Thom slinks around the perimeter of the house sulking.

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Meanwhile, Jenny and Brian continue to press each other’s button and drive each other nuts.

Thom finally talks to Hailey and tells her he wants her to go home. Then he has a drink with the boys of the house and announces that he is farting.

The girls do Jenna’s hair and tell her she can do better than Jay. At the club, Jenna and Jay ignore each other and Jay tries to pick up a bottle waitress. Jenna is upset, and Jenny tells her that she is hotter than all the bottle waitresses and not to let it bother her. “Men are pigs,” she tells Jenna.

The girls go to Oakland for a food truck festival. None of the girls understand why Jenna continues to give Jay chance after chance. Jenny thinks she should bop Jay on the head. Arielle doesn’t get why Jenna allows Jay to breathe the same air.

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The guys go to a bar, where Jay proceeds to try to pick up the bartender. Jay is relentless, and the other guys get bored of watching and leave him there, shaking their heads.

And then, to add another notch to the list of bad decisions made this season, Jenny calls crazy Ashley to kick it old school. Remember crazy Ashley? The roommate who was voted off the island for being too insane for the show, which, considering what has transpired in the last few episodes, means she is most likely certifiable.

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The two go out and get crunk, then come back to the house and go to the confessional. “Bitches, we back!” they declare before babbling on nonsensically. The rest of the roommates come back and Ashley walks out of the confessional. No one is happy to see her.

“I don’t know whether to hug you or to kill you,” says Jay.

Then Ashley and Jenny share a peck on the lips and Ashley sashays away, to the relief of the rest of the house, as nothing is destroyed and no one gets smacked in the face with a hot frying pan.

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Jamie, probably still smarting from her own ex’s cheating ways, tells Jay that he is taking Jenna for granted and taking advantage of her. Jay thinks all of this is none of Jamie’s business.

Then Jenny and Brian go into the next room and have an unintelligible argument, which ends in a shoving match. Then Brian goes to the confessional. “I believe Jenny is demonic,” he tells us. “That bitch is evil.”

Hailey mulls whether she should go home, and she leans towards leaving the house.

Then despite the rest of the house invoking Ricki Lake and telling Jenna she needs to kick Jay to the curb, Jenna considers giving Jay another chance. Sometimes love is merely blind. And sometimes there is some Helen Keller shit going on without the high IQ. This is one of those times.

So Jay takes her out to their first date in two years to show her he cares. What? This is their first date? No words here, so I am just going to move on.

But the Jay and Jenna show doesn’t stop. The two take a walk in the park and Jay apologizes for his behavior, and Jenna agrees to give him another chance. Make it stop, please.

Hailey decides to go home. Cory and Thom take her to the airport, and Hailey and Thom hug, as she goes to the gate with the shopping cart of no return.

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Cory tells us that it is not a good idea to be good friends with your ex. Hear that, lesbians? It might be the only reasonable thing uttered on the show this season.

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