“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 309 – “Perfect Day”


Back in New York, Hunter Valentine is holding auditions for the fourth member of the band now that Somer is gone. Aimee, a musician from Toronto, is brought in to fill Somer’s role.

Is that a guitar? Wait, I thought Somer was on keyboards. I guess Canadians aren’t all that detail oriented, but hey, she has great energy, so who cares! We’re too uptight in the States anyway. After jamming with the band and reassuring everyone that the only thing tying her down is a cat and that cats are portable, she is offered the job.

“You nailed it!” says Kiyomi. “Just don’t nail anyone in the band and you’ll be fine.”

And then it’s back to Los Angeles, where Romi and Dusty are supposedly working on music but mostly making out.

Romi tells us, “As soon as me and Kelsey break up pretty much I am in a relationship with Dusty.” Whatever happened to Dusty’s girlfriend? Does her face need to be put on a milk carton too? So many unexplained disappearances this season.

As expected, not a lot of music is happening, except for the chirping tweety birds that are encircling Romi’s head, because she’s in love – for the 3,487th time this season.

Romi: My mom asked me if I was going to marry you.
Dusty: What’d you say?
Romi: Yes!
Dusty: Huh huh huh. We’ll do it. Let‘s do it!

Romi calls her mom to tell her the news.

Romi: Dusty and I are getting married!
Romi’s mom: Like you’re kidding right?
Romi: No, we’re going to get married!
Romi’s mom: What?
Dusty: We love each other so much!

Wait. There’s no punchline. And Justin Bieber hasn’t jumped out from behind the chair to tell Romi’s mom that she has been punk’d. Is this really happening? How long did that decision take? Let’s find out.

Almost guys. 10.16 seconds vs. Usain Bolt’s 9.58 seconds. Soooo close!

Romi’s mom: You’re like… serious. Okay, wait. What is happening? Like, for real? Know what I’m sayin’? Marriage is FOR REAL.

Momma Klinger, a Jamaican guy was able to run 100 meters before Romi and Dusty finished making their decision. This was more than a whim. It was an urge followed by a passing thought! That’s definitely more serious! Right?

Romi: We’re gonna do it!
Mom: You guys… seriously! This is like a serious thing and you’ve talked about it and you understand the commitment…
Romi: Yep.

Looks like they’re serious.

Seriously serious.

Mom: Oh my God. Ok, bye.
Romi: [to Dusty] She’s crazy.

True. Witnessing the above scene play out first hand would make anyone crazy.

And now we travel to the house of Lauren and Amanda, where they are busy throwing their belongings into boxes.

They’re moving to New York!

Says Lauren, “I’m so excited to be moving back to New York. It’s just going to be incredible to relearn the city, go back to my favorite places, and do it all with my fabulous girlfriend!”

Then Amanda starts getting cold feet. The last time she visited New York she discovered that her sometimes girlfriend had been seeing other people, and she doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of believing that she is going to New York to be with her.

Lauren has a suggestion. “So why don’t you tell her you’re not going but then go anyway!” Oh, because the NYC scene is the size of a stagnant puddle despite the outright lies I write on this site about the NYC scene being vast and ever-evolving, and within three weeks you’re going to run into her at Cubbyhole. Joy!

“That’s really retarded,” says Amanda. “Why would I do that?”

And then it is back to Sara and Whitney’s 48-hour frenzy before their wedding. Sara’s mom and dad have dropped in and Sara’s mom still isn’t too happy about Sara marrying a woman.

Sara: Why? My love is not as good as your love? That’s sad for you to say that.
Sara’s mom: But that is what I am still thinking, you know.

Sara tells us that her mother throwing out these snide comments every so often is putting a damper on her happiness and she wishes her mom would just get on board with the program.

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