“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 308 – “Premonitions”

Over in Brooklyn, Kiyomi and Laura are at Metropolitan Bar, where Vero is serving drinks, and they have another “Dude, where’s my keyboardist?” moment.

Kiyomi tells us that she and Laura have decided to let Somer go, and that the pink slip will be issued the next day at noon.

“So this is like an ultimatum?” asks Vero.

“It’s not an ultimatum,” says Kiyomi. Tomorrow, Somer is going the way of the dodo, and nothing — not Batman, not Aladdin, not even the power of the clam — can save her.

Vero tries to save Somer’s chances of keeping her job, but Laura and Kiyomi disagree.

“I say we allow her to talk,” says Laura. But the decision is final.

Kiyomi adds, “I definitely don’t want this weighing on me when Lauren comes to visit.” So, basically, Lauren trumps Somer. Whatever happened to “bros before some chick you just met in Palm Springs”?

Somer walks into the bar, and Kiyomi and Laura greet her with cheers. The guillotine is falling tomorrow, and the executioners are greeting the fair maiden on death row with smiles. In fact, the lady doesn’t even know she’s on death row. Vero scoots away uncomfortably, shaking her head.

Kiyomi tells Somer not to miss the meeting tomorrow at Vero’s house. Somer asks her what the meeting is about. She thought they were recording tomorrow. Kiyomi decides to give a vague answer. “Everything that is coming up,” she says.

Back in Los Angeles, Romi arrives at Dusty’s house, ostensibly to work on their music, but first, they share an excessively long embrace.


And by “work” I mean “stare at each other.”

Romi tells us that she and Dusty make a great team, because Dusty is a songwriter, and she wants to sing. She continues, “I can’t write a song to save my life, but guess that? I have a really great following, and I have a lot of publicity. You give me a song to sing, and I will give you people to listen to it.”


Riiight.

And then Romi and Dusty hold hands for an interminable amount of time.

Dusty tells us, “For someone who hasn’t been in a studio before, like she can do anything already, so this is so much fun, you know, to play with.”


I want to play with Rooooomi. Hurr hurr…

Then it is time to go, but first, the two need to hug. Again. And they just won’t let go. And why are we being subjected to this? I’m going to time them this round.

 

Now I know why this episode is longer than every other episode this season. The editors have retained every excruciating Romi/Dusty touchy feely moment, making us wish we could all run as quickly as Usain Bolt — away from the television screen — whenever these scenes appear. Oh, and Kelsey, it’s about time you invest in some Nikes.

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