“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 308 – “Premonitions”

Back in LA, shit is about to get real.

Romi is home farting around on her laptop, probably searching Google for her next career that she has wanted to do her entire life or OkCupid for the next guy or gal she wants to have babies with the following week.

Kelsey throws open the door to her and Romi’s bedroom and exclaims, “You didn’t text me back!”

Romi: I didn’t get a text! What did you text me?
Kelsey: I’ve been texting you!

(Um, that’s not an answer, but OK.)

Romi: You said you weren’t coming home tonight.

(Um, that proves that you did get a text, but OK.)

Kelsey: And you have no desire to write me back.
Romi: Kelsey, I texted you earlier, and you said, “I’m moving out. You’re choosing money over – what money am I choosing?”

(Um, this means that Romi did text her back. I am so confused.)

Kelsey: What are you talking about, Romi?

Wait, is Romi lying about the texts? Did Kelsey text the wrong Romi? Is Pluto a planet again? What is going on?

Then the two start yelling at each other about Romi and Dusty’s obvious attraction for each other. Finally, Kelsey asks whether Romi would be OK with her flirting with one of her exes on stage, and Romi says, “No.”

“Well there’s your answer,” says Kelsey. “Did you ever think maybe you fell back in love with him?”

Romi stands there speechless, probably because she doesn’t know the meaning of the word “think.”

Kelsey tells us, “I’ve always been a sucker for Romi, because I’ve been in love with Romi, and you do crazy fucking shit when you’re in love. Love gets you somewhere where you’re hurt, you’re abandoned, and you think someone is your best friend, but really, you were just a fucking filler.”

Romi says that she is tired and tells Kelsey that she is being dramatic, but Kelsey has made her decision. She once was lost, but now she’s found, was blind but now she sees!

“It’s done,” she tells Romi. “We’re not together anymore. That’s it.” And Kelsey walks out and slams the door behind her to the sound of thousands of applauding lesbians. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty she is free at last!

With Kelsey out of the picture, Romi grieves for all of five seconds and calls Dusty.

Anyone surprised?

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