“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 306 – “Lost in a Bush”

Hunter Valentine is already at the photoshoot in Los Angeles, and Ali arrives with her luggage. Kiyomi and Ali sit down on a couch and don’t say a word. Instead, they text each other. Yes, you read that correctly. They sit two feet apart texting each other.

Really? REALLY?

Ali goes outside, and she runs into Vero and Lauren. She and Lauren introduce each other and shake hands.

Vero, the only person with a soul on this show, tells us, “Ali has no clue about anything that happened at Dinah Shore. It’s awful when the whole world knows something, and it’s obvious and you’re sitting there like a fucking idiot… it’s a horrible feeling.”

Meanwhile, the shoot is in progress inside the warehouse, and as usual, Romi is getting the cold shoulder. Finally, she cannot take it anymore and breaks down.

Sara snaps out of her fundamentalist anti-Romi trance for a second and realizes that she may have been too zealous about the Romi hate.

“I see Romi crying, and that strikes a chord in me because Romi and I used to be so close. I feel like we both miss each other very much, and I don’t want to be in high school. I don’t want to have drama with anybody. Whether or not you like me or I like you, it doesn’t mean it has to be the way that it is. So I think it’s time to clear the air.”

But first, Kiyomi and Ali need to break up for real. They break up. The end.

Later, Sara texts Romi to meet her for coffee, where they will hopefully put their differences behind them.

Suffice to say, it does not go well. The meeting quickly deteriorates into a shouting match, and finally, Sara swishes away, leaving Romi at the table.

Romi yells out, “Over it!” and swishes out herself. I really don’t know what they were fighting about, so your guess is as good as mine.

In other news, I’m over making this chart.

And finally, our bi-coastal lovers say goodbye to each other. So sad.

Lauren is wearing a Hunter Valentine t-shirt. Let’s see how long she wears it before she washes it.

And speaking of washing, I need to take a long shower. I need to scrub off the filthy layer of scum that this episode deposited on me. It may take a while, so don’t call the police if I’m not back before next week.

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