“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 301 – “Apples and Oranges”


…into Sara’s arms.

Cut to Romi, who is canoodling in bed with Jay, her ex-boyfriend who is now her boyfriend again. Romi has gone back to the land of the weenies. Surprise!

Sara and Whitney proceed to have vocal shower sex. I don’t know whose hand is buried in whose vadge, because I can‘t tell which tattoos belong to whom – the scene is just one confusing hot mess of ink and steam, but someone’s hand is definitely up in thurr. Ah, The Real L Word. How we have missed ye.

Meanwhile, in a dusty practice room somewhere in the bowels of Manhattan, Kiyomi, Laura and Veronica are gearing up for their show at South by Southwest, where they will introduce their new lineup and new songs. Unfortunately, their newest member, keyboardist Somer, is nowhere to be found.

“Where the f-ck is Somer?” asks Kiyomi to no one in particular.

Somer is still in Brooklyn. Why bother showing up to practice when you would rather take a leisurely walk with your new wife in complementary gray outfits while walking your little gray dogs?

Eventually, Somer’s wife Donna tells her that perhaps she should show up for practice. Somer shows up an hour and a half late, much to Kiyomi’s annoyance. They are two days away from their tour, and Kiyomi feels like she is herding cats. Herding cats. Herding lesbians. Pretty much the same thing. Meow. Sucks to be you.

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