“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 209, the Season Finale

Later that night, Whitney goes to here! bar, where she sees Sara for the first time in a long time. And she’s not alone. Sara’s with Erica, the girl she denied seeing when Whitney confronted her. Whitney refuses to talk to Sara for more that 30 seconds, but can’t stop herself from watching them getting sloppy and tonguey on the other side of the dance floor. Next thing you know, Sara and Erica are stumble drunk, falling all over each other as they leave, and finally, go down on the ground outside the Abbey. Hey look, it’s a full moon.

Whitney: Seeing her f-cked up and all over Erica? It’s sad. I’m thinking there’s not a lot of substance going on between the two of them.

The only thing going on between them is a yeast infection.

Francine’s mom has gone home to Las Vegas, where a Pai Gow table has her name on it. Free and happy, Francine is rarin’ to go for Pumps vs. Pants. All over town, the girls are getting ready to represent their respective crews. Whitney and Jaq pack Whitney’s Lexus with props and prizes, and head out to the site. Cori wants Kacy to show her how to tie a tie (that’s one of the games), while others are brushing their teeth like there’s not tomorrow.

Sajdah is on her way in yet another different car, and even Claire is getting ready to attend, hoping there’s no dunk tank.
And then, there’s Kelsey, who left yesterday because her ride is now a used Schwinn.

Being poor has its upside; you can’t afford a carbon footprint.

Field day is being held at a rented house near the beach. In the backyard, excitement is mounting as everyone chooses a “Pants” or “Pumps” t-shirt, customized into plunging V-necks, or just strips of nothing. In LA, we can’t just leave well enough alone.

Rose Garcia is there, and so is crowd favorite, Scarlett, with her girlfriend, Eli. Sajdah has brought Chanel, who stands around with her arms crossed, a tepid smile on her bored face. She can’t wait for the games to begin, so she can retreat to the car and call her friends without Sajdah noticing.

And like most lesbian parties, it’s a veritable cavalcade of exes. Claire sees Francine walk in with Khristianne and cringes. As bad as it was for Whitney to see Sara, it’s worse for Claire because she wants to say, “Hey, how’s it goin’?” Unfortunately, she and Francine are a little too Crouching Tiger, Hidden Douchebag whenever they come within 15 feet of each other.

Instead, Claire takes the high road and basically tells the camera she thinks Khristianne’s a beast. I will give Claire this: She is reliable.

In other confessions, Romi says Whitney’s great and all, but no thanks. They make better friends than lovers. Kelsey keeps her distance from Romi but admits she still has feelings for her. “I’ll always love her,” she says, “But sometimes, a girl just wants a drink. [laughing] Huh huh.”

Whitney grabs the mic and welcomes everyone to the first Annual Pants vs. Pumps Throwdown. The Pumps cheer, “Pump, pump, pump it up!” The Pants huddle and break with, “Pumps, take your pants off!” Let the games begin.

What would a Whitney Mixter event be without pouring something gross into a kiddie pool and making girls wrestle around in it? Last year, it was creamed corn. This year, it’s chocolate sauce. Romi asks the best question of the entire series: “Why does she always put sh-t in a pool, and want to wrestle?”

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