“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 204

Romi and Kelsey are home, telling each other about their day. Kelsey says she’s been pounding the pavement, looking for work. No, really. She was literally walking up and down West Hollywood, asking for a job.

While my girlfriend assures me some people still do that, I picture Kelsey (black and white, Depression Era) taking a “Help Wanted” sign out of a storefront window and entering a dress shop.

Even though Kelsey is one paycheck from wearing a barrel and holding a tin cup, Romi is heartened by her trying.

Romi: When you find somebody who’s genuinely, like, such a good human being, and has such a good soul, you work on that. Trying to fix someone’s soul and someone’s spirit is not something I’m interested in doing. But trying to fix someone’s routine and agenda? I can do that.

Kelsey vows to get rich or die trying, which pretty much insures her tombstone is going to read, “Here Lies Kelsey. She Tried.”

As beautiful as that love is, things are getting ugly over at Chanel’s birthday party. Natasha’s crew has rolled in, crashing the event. Sajdah decides the party she paid for is over and asks Natasha if there’s anything she needs to do before they go. Natasha tells Sajdah to “clean up” like she’s the help. Oh snap.

Sajdah takes the high road and smiles as she tidies up a little. She loudly asks Chanel for her keys and leans in and whispers, “Get the keys. Let’s get outta here,” sensing things are about to get weird. Too late.
Out of the blue, Natasha is in Sajdah’s face, chest bumping her and backing her into a corner.

Natasha: Get your ass out. I’ve been so patient with you, Saj. I’ve been so patient. Just leave, just leave. I’m not even joking, get your s–t and go right now!

What’s happening? And then there’s this girl, pretending to be interested in something other than the camera.

Afro bomb!

Sajdah tells Chanel to get her friends and leave with her, but turns out, Chanel doesn’t like to be ordered around. She rolls her eyes and begrudgingly follows her towards the car.

Flustered, fed-up and fuming, Sajdah jumps behind the wheel, muttering for Chanel to get her weave in the goddamn car. Just then, Natasha exits the house and stands at the top of the stairs, yelling, “Happy birthday, Saj!” with as much venom as she can muster.

In the chaos, Sajdah backs out and sideswipes a parked car in front of everyone. So much for a speedy, cool get-away, killer. Maybe you can expense that to Showtime?

That’s what happens when you don’t have sex. You get all tense and do stupid things with disastrous results. This explains Sajdah’s night, Lindsay Lohan and the Taliban.

Hey everyone. It’s Scarlett. Yay!

For no reason whatsoever, Whitney has come to watch Scarlett paint her apartment and talk about Sara. Scarlett, whom you remember from last season, is another one of Whitney’s level-headed, patient friends. She listens with her signature bemused smirk, and tells Whitney she wishes she could put a leash on her. Like no one’s ever said that to her before.

Scarlett also reminds Whitney she can tell when Sara is lying: Her mouth is moving. Don’t ever go away again, Scarlett.

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