In an interview later, Romi remembers that they were making out, but then she doesn’t know what happened. Did she fall asleep? Kelsey slowly turns to her, heavy-lidded and brain-dead, and mumbles, “Pretty much.”
Kelsey is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Over at Whitney and Alyssa’s, it’s very late. Whitney subtly tells Rachel she looks tired. She agrees and toddles off to bed. Alyssa retreats to her room to stick pins in her Sara voodoo doll. As soon as the coast is clear, Whitney quietly walks out the front door and gets in her car.
Sara strolls out of the bushes and gets in the passenger seat.
The minute they arrive at Sara’s house, they get naked. At this point, you definitely want to send the children out of the room. You might want to follow them because Whitney goes to work in a way that makes last season’s strap-on scene seem like hair-braiding.
Whitney’s face is buried so deep between Sara’s legs, it looks like she’s rooting for truffles. We get this action from three different angles, one of which is practically on top of Whitney’s head.
Just when you think your jaw can’t drop any farther, the camera cuts to show Whitney’s hand up in there, too, moving in an unmistakable in and out motion. Sara grunts loudly and waves her legs around like she’s landing airplanes with them.
I think we’ve just fallen off the lowest ledge of reality TV and into actual porn.
I can totes see this doing wonders for Sara’s hair styling “career,” can’t you?
We can’t cut away fast enough, so believe it when I say I’m happy to see Cori and Kacy waiting by the phone for Brent. They’re starting to suspect he’s backing out of the sperm donation. Finally, Brent texts them and says he can’t do it, it’s too much to handle. Cori starts to cry. Aww. Don’t cry, Cori. It could be worse. You could be Sara.
And that’s it for Episode 1. What did you think? Suddenly, Rose and Mikey don’t seem so bad, do they?
See you all next week. I’ll be the one hanging on that last ledge, poking my eyes out with a stick.
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