“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 201

Back in their New York hotel room, Romi and Kelsey are prepping for a night out on the town. Romi is in the bathroom, getting into the shower. She lets her towel fall to the floor and there it is: full-frontal.

The camera tilts down her bare, droopy boobies, zooms in on her crotch, and follows it until it disappears behind the shower curtain. At this point, I went completely blind. And deaf. Twat you say? I c–t hear you.

I’m not allowed to show the money shot, but suffice it to say, if you’re curious about Romi’s topiary styling preferences – she shaves.

Later, when Romi is mercifully wrapped in a towel once again, she tells Kelsey what to say, what not to say, and how to act in front of her friends.

Romi: Don’t ask Becky and her boyfriend 500 awkward questions.

Kelsey: What do you mean ” awkward question”? What qualifies as an awkward question?

Romi: Once you catch on that the response is … that the question is weird, then move on.

Basically, Romi would prefer if Kelsey was fun and charming and someone not her.

Meanwhile, Sajdah is in LA, skyping with a buddy and getting ready for her date with Chanel, a girl she met on match.com. For the occasion, Sajdah has chosen a slim-fit polo shirt, which marks the beginning of a new era on The Real L Word. She’s not wearing two dozen rubber gasket bracelets, a fedora, a vest, or a feather roach clip as an earring. Yet.

Sajdah calls her mom to tell her she’s met someone (“Don’t have sex!”) and drives over, hoping Chanel really is gay, and that she looks like her hot Facebook pictures. Sajdah finds Chanel waiting for her on the sidewalk.

Just call Sajdah “ol’ Pokerface.”

Over in West Hollywood, Cori and Kacy are shopping for something very specific. They walk into a sex toy store and inquire if there’s such a thing as a dildo that can squirt sperm. I think there is. And it’s called a penis.

Getting married, I get. One tux, one wedding gown, I get. Wanting to have a baby, I get. But feeling compelled to do it the “old fashion way” I don’t get. It’s time to think outside the box.

The closest thing the clerk can offer is a butt douche. Awesome, but no. He suggest they try Home Depot. Hilarious. What aisle would that be? Plumbing.

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