“The Real L Word” minicap: Episode Two “Game On!”

Mikey is turning out to be a power lesbian in Chucks. She waits anxiously for Raquel to join her at the restaurant where the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce is about to open its arms to her. Raquel is stuck at work and Mikey checks her phone obsessively. She saves her a seat and everything. It’s cute. It’s sweet. It makes you forgive the fact that she never makes dinner.

Mikey gets her plaque, shakes some hands, and cracks a size joke with the guy next to her. And Raquel missed all of it. Aw. Outside afterwards, Mikey hears someone call out "Baby!" She turns to see Raquel, breaks out in a genuine smile of joy and rushes into her arms.

Raquel: What’d I miss? I just walked down the street and people were talking about you! They were like, "We thought Mikey was a boy."

Mikey: Somebody thought I was a boy?

Raquel: Yeah. Lemme see your plaque!

Mikey: Was it ’cause of the size of my penis?

Rachel: Probably.

I’m starting a new drinking game.

Tracy and Stamie appear to sleep apart when the kids are around. In a darkened bedroom, Tracy is alone, barely visible under a mountain of covers. A tiny voice squeaks, "Tracy?" One of the twins wants Tracy to be awake now. It’s 6:17 AM. Peanut, if you don’t have a Bloody Mary in your hand, you better go back to bed. Someone is not training these children correctly.

In other news, Mikey’s proud night is followed by a bad news day. She’s lost her dream stage to a feature film because although LA likes fashion, it runs on movies. She doesn’t threaten the studio because Mikey knows how to pick her sword fights.

Meanwhile, Rose has invited her friends over for game night, where Natalie is allowed to hang at the fringe and share the back of an ottoman.

Rose says Natalie’s desire for more commitment is "her way of tying me down." She might just want a chair.

It soon becomes clear the only game Rose likes is Shots and Ladders. She also enjoys the drinking song, "Show your tits! Show your tits!" One of her dopey friends actually falls for it. Pfft. We’ve seen better.

Natalie leaves the room. The Renaissance lesbian calls after her, "…you f—ing lame ass." Rose’s pals cackle with laughter and high-five Rose as she bellows, "I don’t give a f—!" When the show points to Rose as their nod to diversity, it seems they meant the Tool demographic. We should have been more specific.

As Natalie tells her woes to someone in the kitchen who could care less, Rose sits outside with a homie, bragging how she used to get all the hot girls, complaining what a drip Natalie is, and how her ex was "f—ing banging, dude!" Too bad about that restraining order.

Upstairs and alone for a moment, Natalie and Rose point fingers at each other, and not in the good way anymore. Natalie threatens to move out. Naturally, Rose goes downstairs and continues to party with her awesome friends.

A Rose is a Rose, is a Rose.

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