“The Real L Word” minicap: Episode Two “Game On!”


When Nikki and Jill aren’t playing day spa or auditioning cellists for their walk down the aisle, they’re working on bringing the book "Sexual Fluidity" to the small screen. Nikki is an agent and TV developer, and Jill is a writer, which explains their bank account disparity. They meet with author, Lisa Diamond, who looks and sounds like the gender studies professor she is.

Who let the real-looking, smart person in?

Unlike Jill, Nikki is sure she’s 100% gay. Jill waves from the Sexual Fluidity parade float and explains that she falls for the person, not their gender. And that differs from bisexuality. So, instead of having no preference, or an inclusive preference, Jill has an absence of things to prefer. Or something. I think. The point is, they both love Armani.

Tracy and Stamie go to Weho to play basketball and have post game drinks at the Abbey, West Hollywood’s gay ground zero. The only straight people at the Abbey are lost tourists and gawkers who think gays are a hoot. Tracy and Stamie end up sitting with what might be a Tegan and Sara fan club.

Whitney shows up, swearing she’s just staying for one drink. That’s what everyone says. Five drinks, two trips to the bathroom, and one order of hummus later, it’s dark, you’re cold, and you’ve run into everyone you’ve ever met.

Right on cue, Romi wanders in. Thankfully, she doesn’t see Whitney’s tiny crush on Tracy because Tracy and Stamie left hours ago, like normal people. Despite everything she sees, hears and suspects, Romi’s the kind of girl who ignores all of it and begs to be lied to hear some sort of explanation.

Romi: I need you to, like, be honest with me. Whitney, just…

Whitney: No, OK. Sara, the other day? What happened with her and I? We had hooked up, like, a year ago. We hooked up again. We have a chemistry. The fact of the matter is she lives in San Francisco, she has an ex-girlfriend…

Romi: This girl doesn’t live here?

Whitney: Right. Do I like you? Yes, absolutely. Do I have a chemistry with you? Unden…un… indubitably.

Given how many times Whitney throws around the word "chemistry," she should have an honorary degree from Caltech by now.

She tells Romi, "I don’t know what you want. I don’t think this is what you want," because when you make the other girl think it’s their fault, it only makes them try harder.

I rest my case.

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