“The Real L Word” minicap 108: “Runway Bride”


Over in Hollywood, we soon learn that LA Fashion Week is actually LA Fashion Two Days. The first night is dedicated to the Sambora fashion line "White Trash Beautiful," designed by a blond bombshell named Nikki Lund. As the crowd and celebrity guests start filing in, the step and repeat lights blow, sending the red carpet into darkness. Perfect. I’ve always wanted to see Mikey’s head explode.

When your business is renting sound stages, the two main things you’re providing are walls and power. The facility already took away the walls and put Mikey’s show in the parking lot. Now the lights have blown a breaker and no one seems to know what to do. Congratulations, Sunset-Gower on your marketing efforts. Eh, who needs The Real L Word, when you’ve got Dexter.

Even though she’s not a New Yorker, Mikey has working hands and fixes the problem with little help from the studio, but not before having a mild coronary. In LA, having an event without a red carpet is like going on Yeti hunt: You could, but without pictures, what’s the point?

Elsewhere, Whitney and Romi are having dinner at Street, lesbian chef, Susan Feniger‘s restaurant featuring street vendor foods from around the world. Over their signature dish, kaya toast, Whitney tells Romi that Sara is moving to LA with nothing but a U-Haul and a dream. Romi’s mouth says, "Yay," but her eyes sort of say, "Sh–."

Then, Whitney says something out of the blue: She’s decided she wants to have a child in a few years. Oh sure. She’ll just leave that baby for another baby who’s less clingy.

Back in the big top, Heather Locklear poses for pictures on Mikey’s red carpet. Actress Mena Suvari is there, too – I guess Bryan got every g-d–n email he’s ever f—ing sent. Ava Sambora looks appropriately bored and sullen as she clips down the runway on her pre-teen twigs. There are plenty of scene-sters, the alcohol is flowing, and people seem to like the clothes.

Night two is even bigger and better. The entire show cast has been invited to share Mikey’s big night. Nikki and Jill admire the set-up because all they think about anymore is event-planning. Tracy and Stamie arrive for a night of carefree hand-holding and public kissing. Rose and Natalie are all dolled up and manage to remain civil.

Whitney has brought Scarlett as her date. Mikey grabs Whitney for some red carpet photos, just the two of them. She tells Whitney proudly that she saved her some front row seats. Calm down, Man-crush.

Everything is ready to go, but where’s Raquel? Mikey holds up the entire show, waiting for her time management-challenged girlfriend. Finally, Raquel comes running in, teetering precariously on her tiny, very high heels. With her "good luck charm" in da house, the music starts pounding and the show begins. 

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