“The Real L Word” minicap 108: “Runway Bride”

 
 

If you think the dance Zory does whenever she hears the word "lesbian" is painful, you haven’t seen Jill and Nikki try to box step. The four left feet give it their level best, but it’s soon obvious that the answer to, "So you think you can dance?" is a resounding, "Nooo."

Jill adds: "For some reason, two women slow dancing together? Feels a little strange to me. I can’t put my finger on it." Maybe "sexual fluidity" is more viscous than you thought, Ginger.

Rose’s grandmother comes home from the hospital to find her wish has come true: Rose and her mother are in the same room. Without a hint of irony, Rose says her mother is overbearing and stubborn. If Rose were a Skynet computer, there would be no rise of the machines, because she has zippo self-awareness. Terminator jokes. That’s what this has come to.

The whole family urges Rose to just fricking apologize, so they can all move on. Rose looks like she’s rather poke burning sticks in her eyes, but she does it, begrudgingly. Rose’s mom tells her she loves her and forgives her, which only seems to make Rose bristle. They hug it out anyway.

Meanwhile, here’s a look three generations of lady drama.

At Stamie’s coffee shop comedy show, she and Zory have absolutely nothing to talk about after a nervous, "Nice to meet you." They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, so without further ado, Stamie begins her show. Immediately, she blurts out her "Bon jour, c–t face" punch line. Zory’s face freezes in discomfort. She takes a terse sip of wine as Stamie segues into penis jokes. Oh good. I was worried this was going to be awkward.

A few nights later, Zory is as enthusiastic to meets Stamie’s kids as she was with her comedy stylings. Tracy is disappointed, yet again, and now Stamie sounds annoyed: "If you’re going to not want to meet my children, you’re going to alienate me even more." Oh honey, the c—face jokes took care of that.

It doesn’t matter if your girlfriend’s mother likes you. It only matters that she’s young and hot. Happiness is about managing expectations.

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