Hey, lesbians, wanna be on TV? Actually, do you wanna get real on TV? Well, more accurately, wanna get as real as you can get in Los Angeles in a production by The L Word impresario Ilene Chaiken on TV? See, there’s always a catch.
An open casting call has been posted for The Real L Word: Los Angeles, Mama Chaiken’s new TLW reality spin-off. Magical Elves, the production company teaming with Chaiken and behind hits like Top Chef and Project Runway, did not return inquiries to confirm the item posted at Boxed Lunch, an L.A. lesbian site. But it is worded similarly to other known casting calls for the show making the rounds so it could be legit.
So what are Chaiken and her elves looking for? Per the casting call: “A group of real-life, high-profile, left coast lesbians” who are based in or moving to L.A. and are “every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as their celebrated-but-fictional counterparts.”
Or, as they put it “proof the The L Word exists in real life.”
Um, since they seem to want to create a de facto seventh season, could they bring back Dana? We miss her terribly.
You can read the rest over of the item over at Boxed Lunch. Or you can take this handy questionnaire based on the actual casting call’s criteria. Please remember to fill out your answers in No. 2 pencil. And no cheating off the test of the cute girl in front of you.
Do you want to be on “groundbreaking television?”
If yes, are you sure you don’t want to apply for Mad Men instead?
Do you have “the power of Bette?”
If yes, call me.
Do you have “the mojo of Shane?”
If yes, you’re way too busy to call me.
Do you and your partner want “to adopt?”
If yes, consider keeping this private moment private because the lesbian-seeking-baby storyline — while important — is way overexposed.
Do “all the bouncers in WeHo know your name?”
If yes, you can reach the Betty Ford Center at (800) 434-7365.
Do you want to come out of the closet to “help others by sharing your journey?”
If yes, you should know that you rarely start making out immediately with someone as hot as Marina. (What? I’m just being helpful.)
Do you carry a card that reads “power lesbian?”
If yes, it doesn’t count if you made it yourself and got it laminated at Kinko’s.
If you qualify, Magical Elves wants to hear from you at firstname.lastname@example.org (include a photo).
Are you interested? Are they really looking to fill the exact same roles as the fictional series? Oh, Ilene, Ilene. You’re just bound and determined to wring every last drop of blood from the letter “L,” aren’t you?