“The Playboy Club” recap: Episode 2

Back in “Somebody’s Got Daddy Issues” territory, Nick sits down with John Bianchi, Mr. Bianchi’s son, who says, “I haven’t been able to sleep all week,” to which Nick replies, “You never did sleep well.” It seemed really gay until I remembered they’re kind of like brothers. John then tells Nick that he should be helping him try to find his Dad, the rapist mob boss with a heart of gold. Nick pretty much laughs in his face and if handlebar mustaches were in fashion back then he’d be twirling that bitch.

Bunny Maureen doesn’t like all the attention she isn’t getting so she stops by John and Nick’s table to see if they’d like to buy cigarettes. John hits on Maureen by saying she’s a “beautiful thing” and she snaps back that she isn’t a “thing.” This is coming from the woman who can’t wait to be selected to pose nude for a men’s magazine. I’m not going to lie, I actually feel badly for John right now. Maureen grabs Nick and tells him to look at the guys at the table who obviously don’t belong. She tells Nick how they got in and she’s sorry and doesn’t want to feel any worse about things. Nick starts to speak calmly and talk about next steps but Maureen snaps at him again basically with a, “Uh, duh, I realize that.” Someone pass the Midol to Maureen please. They decide she will get the key from the guys and he will take the name placard down.

She successfully slithers over to the gentlemen’s table and flirts her way into getting them to buy her cigarettes. She asks to see their club key and it seems like her job here is done.

Nick goes to take the name off the board but is interrupted by the fierce presence of Carol Lynne. He twinkles his eyes, shows his dimples and tells her how much he loved her song. She congratulates him on his success and he thanks her for helping him get there. Get a room you crazy kids.

Bunny Maureen is still at the table and she tells the guys she knows the man who owns that key and they, sirs, are not him. She tells them, or rather, her breasts tell them that the place doesn’t take too kindly to trespassers but she’ll be a nice girl and let them get away as long as they leave right now. They agree and skedaddle.

She heads towards the client board and sees Nick speaking with Carol Lynne. He pleads with her and says she has to believe nothing happened with him and Maureen. She gives a little chortle and says, “If only I could.”

Maureen, not trying to waste any time, scurries to the board and looking very suspicious, takes Mr. Bianchi’s name off. Of course, when she turns all the way around to see who is near her (like she should’ve done to begin with) John Bianchi is standing right there. He says she danced with his dad the week before and she laughs it off. John says maybe the two of them should “dance” sometime. If he’s got the same moves as his dad he might want to insist on a dance with no shoes. Before leaving, he warns her about how Nick may seem like a prize, he’s a real heartbreaker.

Commercial Break and I want to take a poll: Show of hands for how many of you are going to see that new Anna Faris movie What’s Your Number? Should I be embarrassed that I want to go?

Commercial break is over and we’ve finally made it to the house of glitz, glamour and fabulosity: We made it to the gays y’all! Alice comes home to find her husband, Sean, going over a speech he is writing. They talk about plans for the week and it turns out, fake gay couples fight just like real gay couples and heterosexual ones! His parents are coming over, she can’t get off of work, he wants her to make chicken Kiev and he can’t take his (I’m assuming) overbearing mother alone. She caves in and sarcastically says she can’t wait to get some baby-making questions from his mother. He says it could be worse; it could be her parents. They share a laugh and she walks away. I’m sure we’ll hear more about her parents in the near future.

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