The Oscars were “a great year for lesbians,” but better for a king

 
 

But not to be outdone by the boys’ tuxedoes, Anne arrives onstage in her first of a night-full of wardrobe changes. This time she was in a tux and every lesbian watching at home let out a squeal and then possibly fainted.

Also not to be outdone, James had his own drag turn as Marilyn Monroe. But I don’t know if pink is his color.

A French-speaking Helen Mirren (I’m ignoring Russell Brand’s presence on purpose because it takes away from my swooning), awarded Danish director Susanne Bier the best foreign film trophy for In a Better World. The film also won a Golden Globe earlier this year, so Biers has a well-deserved matching set.

Christian Bale won best supporting actor for The Fighter, but failed to match co-star Leo’s f-bombs. But then I dropped my own F-bomb because Trent Reznor won for best score for The Social Network. If you had told me back in 1994 that the guy who sang the chorus “I want to f–k you like an animal” would one day be an Academy Award winner I would have told you to go f–k yourself. This Melissa Leo disease is infectious.

In the night’s most unexpectedly and authentically lesbian moment, out lesbian Lora Hirschberg won for sound mixing Inception with colleagues Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick. Hirschberg kissed her wife, Laura, on the way to the podium. In case the smooch didn’t clue in the rest of America, Rizzo said in the acceptance speech for the group, “Thank to you to our families and wonderful wives: Susan, Laura and Jennifer.” Really, really suck it, Prop. 8.

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