The “Millionaire Matchmaker” capitalizes on gay and lesbians

Warning: vitriol and bile ahead..

I am convinced that Patti Stanger, the subject of Bravo’s reality series Millionaire Matchmaker, has never watched the news in her lifetime. Stanger matches high net worth clients who suffer from severe cases of Peter Pan syndrome with potential mates, and the outdated and just plain “WTF?!” tripe that comes out of her mouth, especially the nonsense she spews about gender roles and the LGBT community, seems to indicate that she missed the latter half of the 20th century and the first nine years of the new millennium.

I remember one episode in March in which she essentially told one of her clients, an ex-NFL player named Hatch, that strong, capable women were not dating material. Hatch, bless his heart, rolled his eyes and proudly stood up for the women of the world who actually listened to their mothers and did not hide their intelligence, strength or ambition.

Of course, Sanger continued to press the topic and told him, “You don’t want a girl that can do everything. She will be raising a son and not a husband!” Excuse me? If so, Barack Obama would be riding a tricycle and playing with Legos under the supervision of Michelle Obama, and clearly, he is not.

My roommates and I watched Sanger’s rant against Hatch in horror, and my roommates both concluded that they wanted to marry Hatch and throw Sanger into the Sarlacc Pit.

Is the hair standing up on your neck yet? Wait until you hear Sanger’s comments about the LGBT community.

In one episode on February, she told a client, “You do not want a bisexual woman as the mother of your children because, she could leave you for another woman!” Actually, I’m hoping that Sanger never becomes a mother, because she could poison her children’s minds with this asinine tripe.

And who can forget the video featured in Dorothy Snarker’s post “Millionaire Matchmaker not a match made in heaven when it comes to gays and lesbians“? In that video, Sanger matter-of-factly states that all lesbians U-Haul, that the only famous lesbians in the world are Ellen DeGeneres, k.d. lang and Melissa Etheridge, and that there was a massive epidemic of women leaving their husbands for women.

But the most absurd thing she says in the video is directed at gay men:

If you are a gay man, you’re still susceptible to oxytocin bonding, because you have a lot more estrogen in your body than a straight man does, OK? There’s not a lot of testosterone there. So the truth of the matter is you can get emotionally bonded, same as a straight female. You gotta be careful.

So when Bravo’s preview revealed that Sanger would traipse into the realm of matching gays and lesbians on her show, and that a gay client would be featured in the season finale this week, the only thing I could do was cover my eyes and scream, “Why?!” (But I’m going to watch anyway, because I don’t have any taste.)

Here’s a preview:

I won’t torture you with all of the inane Patti-isms in that clip. However, the following exchange has convinced me that Patti’s staff should be in charge of same-sex matchmaking and Patti should never speak about gay people ever again — or at all, for that matter.

Patti: How do I get ["the gays"] to not have sex unless they get to know each other?

Chelsea: Not all gay people are that promiscuous.

Patti: Don’t they go to bath houses? Most of them do!

Rachel: No, no, no.

Destin: What is this? 1972?

Patti then goes on to say, “My rules of the club are that you don’t sleep with anyone unless you’re in a monogamous, committed relationship. I’m a little worried that the gays will not listen to me, because it’s not just one testosterone [sic]. It’s two!”

Wait a minute: Are “the gays” full of estrogen like straight females and lack testosterone? Or is there too much testosterone? I’m so confused, Doctor Patti.

So what has inspired Patti to become a friend of “the gays”? See her comment at 0:53 in the clip: “It is very important for us to expand our market to bring the gay millionaire men and women into the club.”

Yep, that’s what I thought.

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