The Lost Troian Bellisario Gay Short Film

 
 

If you’re like me, one of life’s great disappointments is its dearth of things with Troian Bellisario in them. Sure, we have Pretty Little Liars, but it is presented to us in “episodes” and “seasons,” which are horribly finite, and not just a continuous stream of delight as I’m sure we’d all prefer. And it’s just not enough. We need Troian Bellisario lunchboxes and action figures and her voice on a GPS (think how frustrated she would sound when you missed a turn! So frustrated!).

Well, to slightly curb our collective appetite, I present to you the following information: Troian Bellisario was in a short film in which she plays a young (probable) lesbian who has crazy chemistry with her father’s girlfriend (which actually sounds very Spencer Hastings, the more I think about it). Intersect is 16 minutes long, you can watch it for free, and it came out in 2009.

Why haven’t you heard of it before?  That would be because it is not very good. Like, there is almost no dialogue—which, as a note to young screenwriters, does not automatically make you seem eloquent—and the dad’s girlfriend (Yvonne Zima) talks about how she can feel the dad in her sweat or something, and roughly a fifth of the movie is just Troian Bellisario jumping on top of tumbleweeds (for serious). But even when she is inexplicably vomiting, or voyeuristically rock-climbing, or just staring in bewilderment at the strange waif for whom she and her father share an attraction, Bellisario brings the intensity and commitment that have made her the darkest and most interesting Liar.

Watch Intersect here.

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Oh and also, in a way that sort of peripherally relates to the film, she tweeted this today:

So, until Spencer and Ali do another slow dance in the basement of Radley, this will have to fulfill our quota of “Troian Bellisario has intense and oddly competitive chemistry with a lady.”

Just kidding, that quota can never be filled.

 
 

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