THIS WEEK’S L WORD VOCABULARY:
Explanations: A way to fill the minutes in an uneventful episode.
Promises: Bette’s version of "Yes, we can!"
Flaring: A sign that you’re serious. And adorable.
THIS WEEK’S GUESTBIANS: Janina Gavankar has a balcony scene; Kate French and Clementine Ford suffer the wrath of Schecter; Guinevere Turner makes unearthly noises; Lucy Lawless lays down the law (you knew I couldn’t resist!).
Aaaand, we’re back — When we last saw the lusty, loquacious ladies of The L Word, Shane and Niki were having a rendezvous on a railing, Alice and Tasha were drifting apart, and Bette and Tina were reuniting (and it felt so good). Also, Lez Girls was becoming less lez-y, Helena was conquering the Planet, and Jodi was killing Bette not-so-softly with her art. And Jenny was realizing she was in love, only to have her heart broken all over again.
Who can save me from all the meta-drama of last season? Who can rescue me, whisk me away, assure me that everything’s going to be all right?
Sergeant Sexy has just arrived at a crime scene, and somehow she makes the police siren seem more like a wolf whistle. Another cop gives her the 411:
Officer: Well, they seem to be having a party of some kind, uh … there’s seven ladies inside, and a little girl.
Sounds like the makings of a nice night, but this one took a turn for the hearse. There’s one more lady on the scene: the one who was found facedown in the pool. We go inside the house, where Shane is wrapped in a towel, Bette is wearing a robe and Alice is biting her nails in a cartoonish, eating-corn-on-the-cob way.
Max, on the other hand, appears to be eating a caterpillar.
At least, I think that’s Max. It could be Zeke from Doonesbury.
Sergeant Sexy introduces herself: her name is actually Sergeant Mary Beth Duffy. Ah, that brings to mind another Mary Beth who made me swoon. Wouldn’t they make a great team?