“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.3 “Lady of the Lake”

 
 

What a difference a clique-up makes — Guess who’s gone from fluff to top dog in one week? Helena is swanning around the prison yard, collecting cigarette payments and generally minding the shop. You’ve heard of the cashmere mafia? I think maybe this is the orange cotton-poly-blend mafia.

Helena eventually saunters over to Dusty.

Helena: Everybody’s paid up.

Dusty: Feeling good?
Helena: Very good.

They share a furtive kiss (partly as cover for the exchange of goods) and then go on their merry mafiosa ways.

I like them. Why is this scene over already?

Working for the weekend — At the Planet, Bette and her suburban hair are getting ready to go to work. But first Bette has to convey a change of plans: She won’t be able to go to Big Bear with Jodi this weekend because she has to go to a David Hockney reception at the Hammer. Jodi doesn’t approve.

Jodi: We’ve been doing this for 11 years, and this was the first time I was ever gonna bring anyone.

That sort of romantic, committed statement has always been the key to Bette’s businesslike heart.

Bette: F— David Hockney.

Bette leans in to give Jodi a big kiss — just as Tina and Alice are strolling up behind her. Tina watches the kiss for as long as she dares, then looks down quickly as Bette says hello to Alice and then to her.

After Bette leaves, Tina asks for the backstory on the David Hockney comment. Jodi explains, framing it as an attempt by Bette to “get out of” something.

Tina: And you didn’t let her get away with it? Good for you.

Jodi: [shrugging] She made a commitment.

That might feel like a slap to Tina. She obviously thought Bette had made a commitment too, until that carpenter came along.

Alice and Shane want Tina to look at some profiles on OurChart. Tina thinks it’s “weird” to meet someone on the internet, but Shane says it’s less random than a blind date. Alice gets ready to home in on some “pretentious art people,” but Jodi wonders how you can assess something like that online.

Alice: Oh, by the way somebody answers a question on their profile. Like, favorite book. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. It’s good, promising. Nancy Drew, not so much.

Tina: I love Nancy Drew.
Jodi: Me too!
Alice: Really? OK. All right, Nancy Drew. I mean, she is a lesbian icon.

Charlie’s Angels and Nancy Drew … gosh, what’s next in this parade of dykons? Kristy McNichol? Oh, right, Laurel already covered that one. Hey, and remember last season, when Shane called Alice “Nancy Drew”? (It didn’t really mean anything; I’m just in Rain Man mode as usual.)

During all of this banter, Tom has been eyeing Max, who is setting up his video camera. Tom takes a seat and pretends to be interested in the technology rather than the trans man.

Tom: That’s a pretty slick-looking camera you’ve got there.

Uh, smooth line. But Max is only too happy to talk about his Panasonic DVX100 (ack; did I just inadvertently collude in product placement?). He lauds its ability to record directly to his laptop over FireWire whilst still recording onto the camera. Wait; didn’t he have to change the tape a couple of episodes ago? I think I’ll just agree with Tom:

Tom: I don’t have the f—ing slightest idea what you’re talking about, but … sounds awesome.

Grace thinks their flirting is cute, and I concur.

Back at the table of trolling, Alice thinks she’s found a fishie for Tina. But Shane advises against that particular love match because the woman is kind of crazy in bed. Alice and Tina ask her how she knows that. Shane just gives them a look that says, “Oh, like you haven’t been on this show with me since 2004?”

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