“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.11 “Lunar Cycle”

The conference doom — Jenny, Aaron and Niki’s manager and agent are gathered around a seemingly average table in a seemingly ordinary room. Tina joins them, and they all wait for Adele to explain herself.

Adele steps nonchalantly over to a DVD player and pops in a disc. And there on the screen is Jenny and Niki’s sex tape — as in the one from the Pink Ride. And the one featuring the Purple Ride. (Gosh, the video looks so professionally edited. Guess Adele couldn’t sleep after all the excitement and decided to fire up Final Cut Pro.)

Jenny: Who did this?

Adele: Well, I think it’s fair to say that you and Niki did it.

Oh, boy.

Niki’s manager/agent: Who has seen this abomination?

Jenny: It’s not an abomination.

I agree. Actually, can I get a copy, please?

Niki’s other manager/agent runs to the DVD player and grabs the disc. Uh, right, smart guy.

Adele: There are 25 more copies. And each one of them is logged, addressed and ready to go out to Letterman, Leno, Oprah, Ellen, Fox, E!, the National Enquirer, Star, Hola!, Hello, Perez Hilton — but none of them have seen it yet, and frankly, I would like to never have to send it.

Tina: What is it that you want, Adele?

Adele: Tina … look, this is not about what I want. This is about this film. This is about Lez Girls. This is about this incredibly important and powerful and significant film that has the opportunity to change hearts and minds and affect the lives of millions of people. And it mustn’t be tainted by a scandal caused by the inexcusably reckless and … completely entitled behavior of the very few people entrusted with this opportunity.

As Adele makes her speech, Jenny just looks hollow, as if she can see everything falling all around her.

Tina, meanwhile, is squinting at Adele, as if she’s hoping the diabolical doppelganger will somehow come into focus.

(BTW, thanks for wearing that little bow, Jenny! It helps us distinguish you from your look-alike. But be sure to give it back to Sounder when you get home.)

Jenny turns to Tina, hurriedly offering to call William. But Adele has already spoken to William, of course.

Adele: He agrees with me that the situation has become untenable.

Tina: [exasperated] What is it that you want, Adele?

And Adele just stands and stares. Cut!

Wow. I guess we all saw that coming, but it’s still so … diabolical. I’ve said that too many times, haven’t I? No, but it is!

If this is really going to proceed along All About Eve lines, Adele will eventually win a freaking Oscar for Lez Girls. Shudder.

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