“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 5.11 “Lunar Cycle”

Homo homeowners — Tasha and Alice are looking at a house. Oh — I guess I assumed Tasha would move into Alice’s apartment. But here they are in a cozy little cottage for two. Except the rent is eight times as much as Tasha’s apartment in Long Beach, which doesn’t sit well with Captain Williams.

Alice: Well, we’ll be splitting the rent, so …

Tasha: OK, well, four times as much.

Alice: We don’t have to split the rent exactly down the middle.
Tasha: Yes we f—in’ do!

Alice: If I get this job, I’ll be making a lot of money.

You can be my sugar mama, Alice! I’ll let you pay 100 percent of the rent, if you want.

Tasha: Alice. Can we just please keep looking?

Alice: I hope you bleed soon. I really do.

Oh. I take it back. I don’t want to live with anyone — rich or otherwise — who thinks it’s OK to say something like that.

But yes, fine, Leisha still manages to lend her special comedic flair to even that crummy line. I’ll reconsider the sugar mama thing.

The house of heartbreak — Jodi is still processing her feelings. Because that’s what women do: bleed and feel, often at the same time. This is the way, it’s the way that we live within the bounds of tried-and-true stereotypes!

Jodi is really losing it now, so Bette tries to comfort her.

Jodi: I was fine before I met you.

But then I fooled around and fell in love.

Through her sobs, Jodi kisses Bette. Oh, no. Bette resists at first, but then she kisses back.

And then the scene changes, which is sooooo unfair! Don’t do it, Bette! I can think of 17 reasons why this is a terrible idea.

The Lez Girls lot — In her office, Tina is about to send a text message to Bette. It says, “Thinking about you; Hope it’s not too awful; Missing you.” Tina, could you add another line to that? Something along the lines of, “Do not sleep with brokenhearted Jodi! Find your damn spine!”

Sam knocks on the door.

Sam: How was the bike ride?

Tina: Oh, God, wow, it was … it was hard.

Sing it, sister! (And once again, Tina looks pretty stunning today. What’s so different this season? Whatever it is, I’m not complaining.)

And then Sam wants to talk shop. Tina is distracted at first but manages to focus. Sam reluctantly admits that Jenny has some talent and is making “really interesting stylistic choices.” OK, but I have to warn you: Give her an inch, and she’ll take a manatee.

Tina agrees that they might have a “really good movie.” But then Aaron interrupts and asks Tina to come to the conference room. Dum da dum dum …

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