Alice manages to dribble the ball between another player's legs, and shrieks accordingly â€” and then thunks it against the backboard and is embarrassed. I'm cheering for you and your bling, Alice.
Jenny is a complete mess, of course, protecting her head when the ball gets near her. She even takes a smoke break.
Helena takes some free throws â€” the second of which is an over-the-shoulder shot that goes in. Silliness.
The trash-talking is not insignificant. Papi calls Bette "Brown Barbie," so Bette replies, "Who you callin' Brown Barbie, you f—in' Carmelita Tropicana?" And I strut and preen as if I'm actually involved.
While the game has been going on, Max and Shay have been fooling around with a skateboard. Shay falls off, and Max delivers the news. Apparently Shay has broken his arm â€” really badly. Speaking of breaks, Max's voice just got a teeny bit deeper. Has he been playing us all along?
The Planet â€” Our team is discussing the interrupted game. Helena wants to know when basketball became a big lesbian sport, but Bette says it always has been and the WNBA should stop running from it. Then they discuss other "dykey sports," like softball, rugby, golf and tennis.
Bette says the next time they play, she wants to get everyone together to practice. Jenny and Alice simultaneously tell each other they need to practice, which is cute.
But jeez, was that a loooooong basketball game.
The hospital â€” Shay's medical bills are extreme. I don't really understand why, but I think Hillary Clinton's campaign might benefit from this little incident. If only everyone needed urgent, astronomically expensive health care for minor fractures.
Paying the bills â€” Shane has to cover Shay's bills somehow. I know what I would do: model underwear for Hugo Boss. I mean, if I looked more like a poster child for world hunger.
Next week on The L Word: Helena pretends to be a caterer, Phyllis gets clingy, and Jenny is no Monet.