THIS WEEK'S L WORD VOCABULARY:
First: Alice makes a good one.
Animal rights: More like wrongs, when Jenny's involved.
Basketball: A clash of classes, egos, and styles.
THIS WEEK'S GUEST-BIANS: Kristanna Loken zeroes in on Shane; Jessica Capshaw crosses the line; Marlee Matlin holds Bette's gaze; Cybill Shepherd proves that teeth can be good.
I think I had a dream like this once — Alice is in bed. She's giving instructions: "Up, higher, left, the other left, make circles, no teeth, oh, teeth are good, jeezus f—in' a christ, oh yeah, f—, this is good, oh yeah, f— f— f—!"
Phyllis emerges from underneath the covers, sighing and looking like she's just seen God. I kinda think she has. If you're able, do yourself a favor and watch Alice come frame by frame. It's spectacular.
Phyllis: I can't believe how wonderful this is. It is the most amazing feeling to make a woman come.
Phyllis says she's been dreaming and fantasizing about this forever. Alice tells her she makes a really good student, but Phyllis says she wants to be the professor. It's giggly and fun, sorta like a sleepover, but for grown-ups.
Chez Shayne — Shay has something for Shane: A note about Back to School Night. Shane looks like she'd rather turn straight than go back to school. I like the way she's honest with Shay: She just says, simply, "I don't know if I can do that, Shay."
The home for abandoned animals and artists — Jenny is taking a dying dog home. I almost want to leave it at that, because really, do you expect her actions to be informed by logic? But let's try to unravel this little Schecterian stumper. Maybe she just reread Where the Red Fern Grows and is trying to experience the heartache for herself, or maybe she's making a big paw-print mural or a houndstooth doily.
But it seems to be less self-serving than that, though not necessarily less crazy. Jenny tells the kennel assistant that her name is Debbie and that she has a habit of taking care of dying animals: "All sentient beings deserve to die surrounded by love." The dog she'll be surrounding is named Sounder, and even though Sounder is a she, Jenny alternates between "she" and "he." As if in protest, Sounder barfs on Jenny's silly ballet shoes.
I would also like to point out that the kennel assistant is saying "She has some incontinence" just as the words written by Elizabeth Ziff appear on the screen.