Planet Pitchfork â€” The saloon is swinging, and our lesbian curiosities are there. Alice says, "Thank God for my little lesbian planet." In case you didn't get that before, about the straight people and the lesbians being from two different planets. It was subtle, I know.
Helena sees Papi in the crowd. Papi comes over to say, "Hey, chicas" to Alice and Helena â€” and to show off the fact that she has two new chicas in tow. Like a tugboat or an unsafe tuna net.
Alice waves Shane over. Papi hears the name "Shane" and squares her shoulders. "Ah, this oughta be interesting," grins Alice. And it is: not necessarily in theory, but definitely in execution. Suddenly the scene changes to black and white and the music starts rattling like a snake. A tumbleweed rolls by Shane's beat-up Converse. Shane and Papi are campy cowpokes at the Gay-OK Corral, and this town ain't big enough for the both of them. Papi even adjusts her, um, gun.
It's funny â€” I actually giggle â€” and that's in no small part because of Alice, Helena and Bette, who look almost concerned for their welfare. When the campy interlude ends, it gets even funnier.
Papi: You're Shane?
Papi: You're just a skinny little white girl.
Shane: Oh. [looks down at her skinnyness] Yeah, I guess I am.
Alice: Shane, this is Papi.
Alice: [meaningfully] Papi.
Shane: So what?
Papi: So I'm your competition.
Shane: Oh. Oh, OK. Well, you know, I don't know exactly what we're competing for, but, uh, you win. So. It was nice meeting you.
That? Was awesome. I don't know what the equivalent of "owned" was in the Wild West, but I think Shane just demonstrated it.
The latrine â€” Jenny is waiting in line. Behind her is a sign for the reading she did. It makes her smile to herself. But then the woman next to her in line confirms (like Jenny needed confirmation) that lesbians do like to eat their own:
No-talent extra with earrings that look more like pasties: I missed that reading.
Jenny: Oh, yeah, it was last week.
Extra: Anyway, the book is really awful.
Jenny: Have you read it?
Extra: No, but the review in Curve magazine? "Some of Her Parts makes me ashamed to even call myself a lesbian."
Funny â€” that's what some people say about Curve.