Back at snipe central â€” The game of Celebrity is in full swing. Alice and Brad have teamed up; Alice is giving the clues. She says it's an easy one:
Alice: Actress. She was in I Heart Huckabees.
Brad: Naomi Watts.
Alice: No. But funnier. She was in 9 to 5 …
At this point, Shane and Bette (and I) nearly fly off the couch because the answer is so obvious. But Brad can't think of Lily Tomlin's name, so Alice tries to help:
Alice: Major dyke, major dyke â€” she came out big time in 2000. I mean, we [looking at the lesbians on the couch] already knew, but, uh … [to Brad] Come on, Big Business. Big Business!
Tina interrupts to say that time is up. When they reveal the answer, Brad can't believe it:
Brad: Lily Tomlin is not a lesbian. Is she?!
Bette: [disdainfully, shaking her head] Braaaad.
One of the straight women: He was on the verge of getting it. The gay clue threw him off.
Oh brother, you mean. It gets more ridiculous: Shane and another straight guy play, but this time the celebrity is Kathleen Hanna. I can promise you that several lesbians I know â€” including one or two who are closely associated with our own dear AfterEllen.com â€” would not get that one. Bette puts her hands behind her head as if she knows this is gonna be good, and it is, if "good" means "awkward and contrived."
Shane: Le Tigre. Julie Ruin. Bikini Kill.
The guy looks at her as if she's saying "La Turble. Jooky Raybean. Burpee Nickel." Alice thinks this one's easy, of course, but Tina and Helena seem uncertain. Bette just smirks. The guy says "One more time," but Shane just says no, and Team Gay laughs. When Shane reveals the answer, Team Straight gets all up in arms:
Brad's wife: What's she a celebrity for?
Alice: Oh, she just pretty much started the whole riot grrrl music scene, but hey.
Brad: What's the riot grrrl music scene?
But then the tables do turn, right over Jenny. She draws a name and promptly says "I don't know who Terrell Owens is." One of the straight women nearly spits out her margarita, and the straight guys look around in amazement. Tina asks, "What?" and Henry explains it to her.
Straight man: He's the most talented receiver in football.
Straight woman: And he appeared with a Desperate Housewife in a commercial. She dropped her towel.
Helena: The desperate … what?
Bette and Shane mumble to each other that it's excruciating and they should just leave, and then they do. Tina watches them go. She looks embarrassed and annoyed and sad â€” and like she's wondering how she ended up in this game of Red Rover in the first place. Alice starts the "it's getting late" pronouncement to put everyone out of their misery.