“The L Word” Recaps 4.9 “Lacy Lilting Lyrics”


Liberating Leonard — Alice tells Leonard it isn’t really the best time for a visit. He says it wasn’t the best time for his world to come apart, either, and muscles his way in.

Alice mouths, "Oh, my God, help me," to her bedridden buddies. Then she slips into the closet to put some clothes on.

Leonard says hello to Helena and introduces himself to everyone else. He asks Alice how she turned Phyllis into a lesbian. Yikes.

Tasha tries to take her leave — "You told me you took care of this s—" — but Alice wants her on the panel of Why Phyllis Is Gay. Helena opens the debate by noting that nobody turns anybody into a lesbian.

Leonard: She told me that you were the love of her life. That what she experienced with you was unprecedented. She said that the sex was life-altering.

Papi starts to give Alice a congratulatory grin, but Helena elbows her into silence.

Leonard proceeds to come apart as he sits down on "the goddamn bed" where it all happened. The 800-thread-count panel just shrugs and stares.

A clash of egos — Bette is in a grant meeting. The discussion of which grad students are most deserving seems to have dissolved into sniping about third-wave feminism and whether artists should drive Mercedes. The conference table — with Bette as its quietly suffering center — is reminiscent of The Last Supper. Not that Bette has a God complex or anything.

To end the grousing, Jodi bangs on the table. (If only she had used her shoe to do so.) She starts to say that she agrees with the third-wave feminist, but Bette cuts her off. And then when Jodi speaks up about the financial status of the next grant applicant, Bette shuts her up again.

Bette: We’re behind. We cannot debate criteria right now.
Jodi: You let them argue about nothing for 20 minutes.
Bette: It wasn’t about nothing.
Phyllis: Excuse me. I suggest we break for lunch.

Whew. Lesbian egos on parade.

Bette strides coldly out into the hallway. Jodi follows her and says they need to talk.

Jodi: Do you want to get something to eat?
Bette: I’m not hungry.
Jodi: If you’re mad at me about this morning, I wish you would tell me.
Bette: I’m not mad, OK? I’m just exhausted.

Jodi doesn’t buy that, so Bette asks Jodi where she and Amy went. Bette’s not really interested in that, though. She really just wants to be passive-aggressive: "I hope you had a good time." Before Jodi can try to break through her walls, Bette is saved by the bell — her cell phone chirps. Jodi leaves in disgust.

Phyllis, who has been watching them from afar, asks Bette if she’s all right. Bette tells her she just got a text message from Alice. She shows the message to Phyllis. It says, "Leonard Kroll is in my bed."

Phyllis just says, "No way."


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