The L Word Recaps 4.11 “Literary License to Kill”


The Planet after dark — Oh, look: The whole gang’s there. Well, almost: Alice, Shane, Jenny, Tina, Helena and Kate are laughing and teasing each other for telling lame stories. Tina and Kate are flirting, but Jenny is turning a blind eye. She tells Alice and Shane that she thinks Kate is funny and kinda brilliant. Jenny, why don’t you just ask them to ask Kate whether she likes you too? Or give her a note that says, "Circle one: I like you. I don’t like you." Kate would probably stub out her cigarette on the note and put us all out of our misery.

Tina asks where Tasha is. Alice says she’s having a "dark night"; Papi explains that that’s a military term for working at night. Papi, where did you come from? I didn’t even see you there. I guess Kit really did deflate your ego. Don’t shrink away, little violet.

Paige and Jared arrive. Paige sees the crowd and explains to Jared that there seems to be some sort of special show going on; they probably won’t be able to find a seat. Uh, duh, Paige.

Kit sees her and points her to her table. Everyone claps and wishes her a happy birthday.

Shane: Did you think I forgot?
Paige: I did think you forgot!

They kiss. The captions say "indistinct conversation," and I think that probably just about sums it up.

CU, later — Jodi is giving a farewell speech at the School of Art. She tells her students they’re in good hands; Dean Porter has passion and conviction and will no doubt continue to push the boundaries of their lives. Aw, Jodi. Next time Dean Porter pushes something, don’t let her get away with it: Push right back. Wait. Um.

The Planet — Hear that? It’s Goldfrapp. It’s awesome. The song is "Ride the White Horse."

In the crowd, Alice asks Papi if she’s talked to Tasha. Papi just says, "You guys gotta talk, all right?" Alice knows that can’t be good.

Jenny tells Kate that Alison Goldfrapp should play Jessie. Some awkward banter ensues. I’m sure Jenny thinks it’s comfortable and sexy. Or maybe not; Jenny excuses herself and makes her way to the crowd so she can get closer to the music.

Elsewhere, some random guy offers Kit a bump. You know, a bump. So she can ride the white horse. Me, I just want to ride a subtle horse for a change, because this music-as-commentary horse is really chapping my ass.

Kit asks for another taste for the road, but the guy says he’s out.

Kit: F— you, motherf—er! F— you.

Maybe it shouldn’t delight me so much when Kit gets so very Pam Grier, but it does. But delight is not her destiny tonight: She can’t even enjoy her high. She spies a disappointed Angus and asks him to take her to a meeting tomorrow. Blah. I mean, OK, yes, good. But must a healthy Kit be an Angus-attached Kit?

The song ends, and it seems like the episode should too, but no: This horse is still a-kickin’.

Too late for goodbye — Bette shows up for Jodi’s farewell party, but Jodi isn’t there.

Phyllis: Jodi said beautiful things about you.
Bette: Where is she?
Phyllis: You know, I think she’s gone already.

Bette goes somewhere else — it sorta reminds me of that place the Project Runway rejects go to pack up their things. That’s what Tom is doing: packing Jodi’s things. He says Jodi is on an airplane to New York. Guess you’ll have to carry on and make it work all by yourself, Bette. She wars with herself briefly, then goes back to the Scaffolding of Sex and thinks some more. I know I always think better when my brain waves are reflected back to me by shiny aluminum thingies.

Now that would have been another good ending to the episode. How many curtain calls are there?

Alice’s apartment — Alice is sleeping. Tasha, in her MP uniform, is watching Alice sleep. It’s almost creepy, and Alice is a little scared when she first jolts awake.

Tasha thanks her for the beautiful watch but says she can’t accept it. Sleepy Alice tries to understand as Tasha tells her what happened to Lisa. The husband who gave Lisa that watch also dumped her while she was risking her life in Iraq, and then he tried to take her daughter away. It takes Alice a while to wake up enough to get what Tasha’s trying to say: Lisa won’t ever get her daughter back, because Lisa’s not coming back from Iraq.

Tasha: This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t going to fall for anybody while I was back.
Alice: What do you mean, "while you were back"? Are you going somewhere?

Alice. Wake the hell up! How much gold did you frapp at the Planet, anyway?

Tasha: My unit’s being mobilized back to Iraq. I’m leaving in two weeks.

Yeah, I don’t want to wake up to that either. Let’s go back to bed, Alice, and hope it was all a dream.

NEXT WEEK ON THE L WORD: Tasha and Alice holler; Jenny preens; a whole lotta other stuff happens in an effort to tie all this up. And I think I saw a certain dead gay lady in the preview: Can the apocalypse be far off?

Hear more of Scribe Grrrl's thoughts on the episode in her weekly podcast Talking to Manatees. Find multiple download options available here, or subscribe through iTunes.

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